"*pokes about*"
Arquenniel says "YAY! NMN!!!"
"Oh! thank you! Yay! *sits back and watches Arq* NMN! NMN!"
"*looks about* Oh! That's me!"
Arquenniel says "You are very silly.. get to work wench!"
"Got to earn my meager paycheck..."
"Welcome
to another addition of Nearly Midnight News! I am your host, until such
time as my rating plummet and I get the sack.Which is a lot more than I
usually get, what with the pay being three beans and a broken
fork...But we will not dwell on what our esteemed overlords of
broadcasting must know is successful!"
"In
tonight's news, we go to Kelethin, where a Tree has sprouted! We are
not entirely sure how this made the news, but there you have itnstead,
we went to the local tavern and opened up a tab, which now runs at
-least- two silver. We learned so much there, such as how to speak
Faelie. Well, we tried anyways. Cupping one's tongue like an oak leaf is
not easy. We might go for the rosetta stone, which is said to teach all
languages. It is simple, and all you must do is stare at a rock until
it clicks."
"But
the Tree! Much was learned, such as it was planted by farmer bill back
in aught eight during the drought of the river Pix. Well - actually, no.
We got very suspicious of Farmer Bill after he kept saying that he was
an orc... So regretfully, we learned next to nothing about this event,
and now so have you!"
"Around
Norrath, there were food shortages, especially in goblinoid camps. When
questioned why, goblin Fardun replied "we dun plant the seeds so wells -
we mostlies eateds them. " Expect goblin populations to diminish
through the seasons for once."
"In
tavern hopping, there was a rare occurrence of not one, but TWO bars
open tonight! We were going to visit and ask what was up with that, but
we couldn't decide who had better beer, so we stayed at home for a quiet
night of checkers. Anyone who might have any information on this is
pleased advised to bring enough for the entire NMN staff to get
thoroughly sloshed."
"There
has been tell that bars such as the Mummy and the Crown run illicit and
dangerous crime scenes when no one is looking, but this is yet to be
proven. So far, we must assume it is true and inquisite until we find
out otherwise - tread carefully! We understand that there is little
tolerance for backtalk and uppityness."
"In
shipping today, pirates seized most of Norrath's ports. the groups,
known only as Arr Pee Pirates, left no stone unturned, no building
untouched, and no being alone in their quest for "plot". Caution is
advised through the remainder of the day and well into tomorrow. Anyone
caught feeding these pirates will be assumed to be aiding and abetting
criminals, and will be punished post-haste."
"In
weather today, it rained cats and dogs in the commonlands outside of
Freeport for at least two hours. Cleanup crews are not having to put
much effort in due to high predator numbers. The local animal shelter
advises to always spay and neuter, though we are not entirely certain
they were speaking of this incident."
"In
sports, the Antonican Tennis Team has been disbanded due to issues
involving a high mortality rate. Asked to comment, the team could not be
found. Officials were quick to say that everything was fine, and to go
about our business. The Halas Synchronized swimming team today suffered
tragedy as half their team caught hypothermia. Investigators close to
the source said "we told them it was a bad idea! The tutus just don't
cut it!" The team is expected to be on hiatus for the remainder of the
season, which seems to be very, very long in that area."
"The
Erolissi Fan club had its donation drive in Gorowyn today. They
collected three hugs and a kiss, though each was very worried that the
Sarnak might eat them. They were informed to "oh, just grow up already!"
The club did not respond well."
"In
other news, the Festival of Unity approaches! This engaging event looks
to be good fun to bring us all closer together! Especially the
competitive sports, which are not known to drive any wedges at all
anywhere. It is expected that anyone attending will proudly display
their city badges and talk very loudly at each other."
"I am your host, Folodu Amrunrosse, and thank you for reading the Nearly Midnight News."
No comments:
Post a Comment