The Vigiles Amicae is a roleplaying guild in Everquest 2, on the Freeport and Antonia Bayle Servers.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Campaign: Treasonous Stars - Incident Report

The Vigiles Amicae hereby declares the persona(s) known as:

Folodu Amrunrosse

among other possible aliases, to be anathema.

The wards are locked against her, and no move shall be made to stay the hand that is raised against her, should she rebell against her proper discipline.

It is with sorrow and rage that we report the former Vigiles Captain Amrunrosse was unable to abide by our Writ, and repeatedly expressed contempt for the substance and practice of the same. Despite her years of loyal service and numerous victories, Amrunrosse has made the irrevocable choice to seize control of the Amicae during a time of war, for her own personal gain, and disarm the very writ upon which we all depend.

That the former Captain Amrunrosse has heretofore been employed in the gathering of intelligence and destabilization of evils which would threaten the Amicae is insufficient case for the profligate violations of our writ which have accumulated to her name.

The convened Courts Martial has found Amrunrosse guilty of the following charges:

  • holding a sworn Amicae in bondage without due process of law
  • authorizing the use of deadly force beyond the measure of civilized warfare
  • claiming the mantle of Praetor without proper Council affirmation
  • threatening a faithful healer among the Amicae
  • striking an officer of the Amicae with intent to cause grievous harm
  • imposing her will against an officer of the Amicae outside of the direction of a healer
  • sabotage and vandalism of Amicae holdings
  • fraternization with a superior officer
  • abuse of her power over the soldiers in her charge
  • seeding of dissent and faction rivalry within the Amicae
  • suspension of the rights and laws of the Amicae
  • disbanding the Council which sacred duty is to check the power of the Praetor

We therefore on this Sixth day of Stargazing in the Year of the Triumvirate in the Era of the New Combine, declare Folodu Amrunrosse a traitor to the Amicae and to the Praetor to which she owed her loyalty. If she refuse the sentence of Exile to the far Velious isles as enumerated by the Council and Courts Martial, any hand then be raised against her.

By my will and hand, Praetor Ariahdnia z'equidaii Chath do'Trinae, Hero of Maj Dul
 By my will and hand, Legate Bellum Fafnier Brangwyn
 By my will and hand, Legate Pax Sytan Fiac




Note:
This is an IC exile only, and only in the Antonia Bayle timeline. Continued rp with this player is allowed and even encouraged. All rp guidelines regarding consent and communication are to be followed.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

A plain, red-spined book - Apocryphal Journals: Folodu Amrunrosse

Archivist's note:
It is clear from contemporary records that Amrunrosse was fastidious about keeping her journals on her person or otherwise well secured, yet in the recent reorganization of the archive we have found loose signatures tucked among unrelated treatises on the applied arts of entropy as relates to the keeping of vegetable gardens in various climates.
Each is no more than eight pages of vellum, stitched with waxed linen thread and apparently in good condition, aside from having been at some point separated from the rest of its volume. The handwriting appears to be consistent from one entry to the next, though there are huge swaths of the work still missing.
What remains has been bound together in a probable chronology, and wrapper leaves were added around each original signature to hold such notation as is possible. The entries are undated in the original hand, but as many of the incidents are cross-referenced in the public archives, so a loose chronology may be posited.



This entry is unusually brief for the bardic-trained Amrunrosse, and reveals some of the considerable impact her stint in High Command as Acting Praetor had on her own abilities. 

It is uncertain what partisan Amrunrosse refers to in this entry, but Lenoire Du'Claire and her consort Kanaemar are confirmed in contemporary records as being deeply involved in the turmoil that surrounded the end of Amrunrosse's tenure as Praetor. 

This is one of few indications that come down to us as evidence that the turmoil was not born of chaos, but rather carefully orchestrated to create a path back to leadership for the deposed Hero and Protector of the Amicae. As so little evidence did survive, it has been a matter of much dispute among the chroniclers, but it stands to reason that after the very public manner in which Amrunrosse usurped the position that it would be impossible to reverse peacefully. It must not be forgotten that during her tenure, Amrunrosse enjoyed wide popular support, and that other private communication during that period confirms a deeply rooted mistrust of the deposed Praetor's temporal stability.

Even to this day, there are apologists for the usurpation, who question the trustworthiness and tactical stability of a leader who is so patently secretive about her history, her age, and her sanity. It is widely believed that the Praetor does not punish such treasonous agitation because she is unaware of it: historians who have investigated the history of the Heroes' Quarter in Maj'Dul hotly argue the reverse. No foreigner could have survived the ever-shifting sands of Maj'Dul politics for long - let along risen to a stable and uncontested prominence there - who did not have a canny understanding of political maneuvering and the exigencies of war.



This is a long and twisting path - Sytan is back among us, which is more than timely as I needed an agent who would be able to do the things I cannot. The house will pass back to Ari.

I have given him the information I have been working with, and he has seen my plan within it. Fafnier needs pushed away, as does Ari. If they leave the house under my regime, it can be painted as my poor leadership.

There are only a few ways this can go. I will do everything I can to ensure the House is strong...
that she leads it again.

One vocal supporter has been arranged. In the time I write this, the next has been as well.
I have struck Sin, and Ari comes soon. I had hoped to be more civil in this, but the way things have played out prevents that, now. I would give commendations if I could - Leni and Sin both are going above and beyond the call in the time of need. I will put my faith in them, that they will support Ari as Praetor.

They come. I will give them a good show.
I hope it will be enough...

Thursday, August 16, 2012

A plain, red-spined book - Apocryphal Journals: Folodu Amrunrosse

Archivist's note:
It is clear from contemporary records that Amrunrosse was fastidious about keeping her journals on her person or otherwise well secured, yet in the recent reorganization of the archive we have found loose signatures tucked among unrelated treatises on the applied arts of entropy as relates to the keeping of vegetable gardens in various climates.
Each is no more than eight pages of vellum, stitched with waxed linen thread and apparently in good condition, aside from having been at some point separated from the rest of its volume. The handwriting appears to be consistent from one entry to the next, though there are huge swaths of the work still missing.
What remains has been bound together in a probable chronology, and wrapper leaves were added around each original signature to hold such notation as is possible. The entries are undated in the original hand, but as many of the incidents are cross-referenced in the public archives, so a loose chronology may be posited.



This entry is unusually candid, for Amrunrosse.

It is usually advised that the student of history take her offered chronology and editorial commentary with a hearty grain of salt - but unlike most of her narratives, this passage has a rather narrow focus. In all the records we have of her hand, public and private, there is every evidence of a profound sense of her own centrality to events - and in this one, her tone is unusually sober. 

Like most of the bardic-trained, it does seem she was drawn into many of the pivotal events of her time. In this particular reflection she seems to have at least briefly gained a greater sense of perspective on her own involvement - and the inevitable consequences of her political meddling.

Nonetheless, this morose account is interesting to the student of history, as it reveals an unusually deep admiration for the contemporary Lady Commander Arquenniel Tinwe'sa of the Freeport Militia's elite Third Brigade.




The weight of her mantle is great. Not that she has made it any easier.
Ari is far more coherent than she has been in some time. She also spits acid and makes a great amount of extra effort on us all. I should have had her struck down in the depths of the D’Vinn stronghold as I had planned.
She needed the rest, and now, so do I.

What am I come to? She is my dearest friend - I do not deserve it. She seems to have to greater peace on why I did what I did, though I do not.

I have given her the only gift I can, right now. We have her beloved. He is ready. I can finally give the authorization for his resurrection.
May it bring her peace.

Arquenniel.
There is a complicated topic. I cannot fathom why I brought up the glass powder-poisoned rum. I suppose I must like her, and I also wanted to illustrate that information is key...and I think I utterly failed and now have to watch my step even more than usual. Even so, that was a fool move. I put a lot of faith in our acquaintanceship, and being useful to them.
I do not know how long I can survive in Freeport after this.
I owe Lucan for having a place to call home, and while I accept work for any who will pay and who doesn’t offend me...this is different. This is actual treason. Damn Fafnier anyways! If he had listened, he and his people wouldn’t have been killed, and I wouldn’t have tried to find ways to bring some sort of attack back home. And it wasn’t even her fault! It was his! I like her. I don’t know how this will go.

Were circumstances different, we could probably be very good friends. But she is a Knight, and that is what it is. I think she has no idea the history they had - how Pallidmortis ran it...

He is free again. Loose in the world, and making trouble for Freeport. I have heard nothing on him yet, though I have exchanged my time behind bars to be on call when they take him.

I hope she listens. I hope she sifts through all of the records. Old contacts are a valuable thing to a tyrant. Old friends can very easily be current friends. She needs to identify these people. I would do this, but...it is what it is.

I miss my normal duties. I miss gathering information. I miss having the ability to love those in my heart. How can I relax, when the duties are always so demanding?

I will continue to hold myself apart. Not much longer.
It is nearly time to pass the mantle back.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Journal of Acting Praetor Amrunrosse

Archivist's note:
This volume overlaps many of the events in the so-called Apocryphal Journals, but it is presented here as it's own work as it was discovered in the recent remodelling of the Gorowyn offices. The octavo journal is bound in blue dyed leather, and it had been lost in a gap between the decorative redwood panel and the blackrock maple wall sheathing, presumably since the latter Age of the New Combine.

It is advised that the student of history take her offered chronology and editorial commentary with a hearty grain of salt. In all the records we have of her hand, public and private, there is every evidence of a profound sense of her own centrality to events. Like most of the bardic-trained, it does seem she was drawn into many of the pivotal events of her time, and this must have only confirmed to her that she was therefore a driver of them.

Contemporary records confirm that during the time covered by this log - which seems to have functioned as a kind of pocket memorandum book, outlining events for later reflection in memoirs - Amrunrosse did in fact seize the Praetorship, and lead the final assaults on the D'Vinnian territories in the campaign to recover the kidnapped Legate. By this time, he had been missing for several seasons, despite all efforts to track his captors, the Amicae seem to have consistently arrived after the hostages had been moved.

Despite her position of authority, Amrunrosse still did not set down dates on her observations, but the frustrated historian will be perhaps least frustrated by this fragment of her testimony, as the dates of these actions can readily be cross-referenced in the campaign reports and Council minutes.



-1-

A trying night.
What have I done? Dear gods, Ari will kill me, and it is because of that damn Yorrik and Valacor. Vithing pissing contest over Ari.

Yorrik is consumed with his infallibility, and thinks Ari possessed of some madness. Valacor decided to visit during her examination, and scared Yorrik senseless. Yorrik, of course, called in the military.

Dear gods, but Ari saw reason and Valacor did not - he refused to stand down, escalating the situation. Because he attacked the House, I tried to have all three detained. Valacor refused, and what is to be done? He will destroy us all before he surrenders, and I will not risk the House.

I have Ari and Yorrik detained, and have placed restrictions on returning her position once it is proven that the words Valacor spoke were false. This, I hope, will give me time to run the campaign against Marconis' orc alliance and retrieve Sytan.

Damnit all, but why does Ari seek to believe that he left of his own will? Damnit damnit damnit.


- 2 -

A trying week. Valacor has decided to take his leave, and Yorrik had to be pressed in to service because he is our only healer. I cannot get Ari to promise not to kill me, so I cannot release her bonds. I will have to take the risk of it anyways - it would be just...

Finding I have support among the military -and- civilian branches. I am leading by paranoid dictatorship. This is backwards. This is not Vigiles. Will have to run campaign against myself. Planning to attack one of the House as a last resort. If reason will not win, what else can be done?

Beginning collecting the crimes I am committing. I want there to be no question how deeply my actions go. Might need to draft an arrest warrant.

- 3 -

We go after the orcs.

Released Ari. She didn't kill me, though I almost wish she had. If there is anything to be bitter about at this entire situation, it is losing her friendship. I have mishandled this from the beginning. I was so sure this would be cut and dry, and it would have been understandable, but the course was chosen rashly.

I wish Valacor would have backed down. I grow to hate his name, now. I have I time to cobble together a plan to stop him, so that justice might happen.

Asked Fafnier to kill Ari during the raid. She needs time to rest and lose her memories. She is having trouble with so many now. I don't think he understands.

Valacor is still at large. I can't move against him. Damnit, we need Ari.

- 4 -

Retrieved Sytan. Many losses.

Countermanded order to kill Ari. She is recovering and coping with memories.

Can't get the council on the same landmass together, much less the same room to reinstate Ariahdnia. Considering breaking the injunctions I laid out to do it anyways.

Too many are supporting me verbally in my tyranny. It is time to move.

- 5 -

[editor's note: update from ingame book]

Monday, August 6, 2012

A plain, red-spined book - Apocryphal Journals: Folodu Amrunrosse

Archivist's note:
It is clear from contemporary records that Amrunrosse was fastidious about keeping her journals on her person or otherwise well secured, yet in the recent reorganization of the archive we have found loose signatures tucked among unrelated treatises on the applied arts of entropy as relates to the keeping of vegetable gardens in various climates.
Each is no more than eight pages of vellum, stitched with waxed linen thread and apparently in good condition, aside from having been at some point separated from the rest of its volume. The handwriting appears to be consistent from one entry to the next, though there are huge swaths of the work still missing.
What remains has been bound together in a probable chronology, and wrapper leaves were added around each original signature to hold such notation as is possible. The entries are undated in the original hand, but as many of the incidents are cross-referenced in the public archives, so a loose chronology may be posited.



This entry wrestles primarily with events which occurred at least a full season, if not a year, prior to the writing of this passage. Given other evidence of daily memorandum books, it is possible that Amrunrosse had a longstanding habit of enlarging her record of current events only after she had some distance from them. 

It has also been suggested that her bardic training led her to delay the fleshing out of her records until she felt there was a suitably compelling narrative to drive the composition. The well-documented confrontation with Thrayson and Valinos was undoubtedly even more compelling at the time, and would have appeared at that time to offer a poetic circularity when contrasted with the repudiation of the Stormharrow alliance.

Contemporary records of the military actions during the Cel'Voda campaign are relatively intact, and the ally and slave mentioned in this passage are widely understood to have been Naccor Stormharrow and his koada' servant Wynteri, respectively. During this period, Naccor had paid for a commission in the Vigiles infantry for his younger brother, Malicce Stormharrow of Neriak, and records of the time suggest he was more interested in his brother's education and training than the boy himself was, and the friction between the brothers spilled over into the Cel'Voda campaign. 

It seems reasonable to conclude that cultural assumptions were made on the part of both the Stormharrow boys and the Vigiles High Command, which came out in the crucible of this protracted campaign. The schism that resulted did entangle the Vigiles briefly in a diplomatic dispute with the elder Stormharrow's adopted House, the infamous trade empire of Shaded Lotus.

Detailed records of the resolution remain classified, but it is hoped that some of the more historically interesting reports will be de-classified in the near future, especially as Amrunrosse clearly believed that both events in this passage were deeply linked.




I do not know what to say. Perhaps the beginning of the thing is the only place to start.

     The Priestess Chryso has returned to our midst. It was hard, having to drive her off to begin with, and it hurt another who had befriended her: Little Chryslinger, who has lost all and fights her void-lost twin. She still feels very much for her old unit, though she tells me she is not trying to rebuild. She asks me questions, I suppose trying to figure out how well I would fit their number, or to get a better idea of who I am.

     House first. Always the needs of the House.
     I don’t know how well she has understood that, but we will all be confronted with that, now.

     We marched on the dragon Cel’Voda to recover our Lost, Xeita. We found evidence that our other, the Legate, had been there briefly. Xeita confirmed this. When we got her back, I gated out with Xeita and a smaller strike force aimed for the heart of Cel’Voda’s lair.

     There, a false corpse was found, as well as a skull burning with arcana at least three days old. The dragon himself, however, is truly dead. Someone was there before us. I cannot believe anything else but that Marconis is behind this.

     During this, our ally brought danger to us all when his slave knelt to them in the field. They do not want to see how this was risking their life by pointing out one of note in the field of battle.
     I remember the Cel'Voda clan from before the civil war, and on my recommendation the Legate had us all march in Indigo livery, without insignia. It is an echo of a dusty past, when one house would make war on another, and provide just enough distraction that the law could plausibly ignore the action as one approved by a Power higher than theirs.
     He is to young - or too poorly read! - to know the rigid conventions of that old custom.
     He wants to argue her usefulness? Feh. He will not be able to accompany us any further in the field. I have purchased the slave he got bored with, so I hope his new one has all the discretion he demands of those around him.
     Whatever else may befall, the issue is closed.

     During that time, one approached seeking aid. I must speak with with them more fully as there is time. This gets at the heart of another issue, and I am very much inclined to sow dissention and have the brunt of the work done. I have taken the meager information to the Knights already, and will be taking more as I can get it.
     I hate working with them, and feel like there is a trap about to close about me. I must step carefully.

     All of these events have happened around Ari. The issue I have avoided so far...
     She has been becoming less coherent, jumping around her personal history and not being very coherent in the present. I noticed this a few months ago, but her ability to lead was still intact. That has deteriorated, culminating in last night.

     She was distraught when Sytan was taken: I do not know if that is what drives her from her mind now.
     Last night, the Chief Medical Officer was shown how to feed Xeita’s needs for energy very directly. Valacor drew the power from him to show him the cost requirements. Yorrik believed his life under threat - and ordered the house to arms, and ordered his ancestral spirit to kill Valacor.
     The spirit was housed within Ari.
     When he managed this, or why, I do not know, but none may have such a thrall within the Amicae. Yorrik will be punished, but right now I need those able to heal.

     Valacor leveled the accusation that Ari was not sound of mind for leadership - she did not remember her own name, and is clearly susceptible to the influence of another’s orders. I have relieved her of command pending review of a council to find her of sound mind again.

Until then...
     I am acting Praetor.

Campaign: Treasonous Stars - Incident Report

The Vigiles Amicae hereby declares the persona(s) known as:

Valacor Arios Valinos

among other possible aliases, to be anathema.

The wards are locked against him, and no move shall be made to stay the hand that is raised against him.

It is with sorrow and rage that we report the former Commander Valinos was unable to abide by our Writ, and repeatedly expressed contempt for the substance and practice of the same. Every reasonable effort was made to educate Valinos regarding the nature of the Amicae, and the meaning of the Writ and Rules that guide us.

That the former Commander Valinos has been employed in the gathering of intelligence and monitoring of evils which would threaten the Amicae is insufficient case for the profligate violations of our writ which have accumulated to his name. Further, he has fled from the right and proper charge of treason, and refused to stand at Courts Martial for the following charges:

  • taking and keeping a sentient person in bondage without due process of law
  • keeping of personal slaves in true bondage, against their will
  • feeding on the heartsblood of allied sentient persons against their will
  • threatening a faithful healer among the Amicae
  • striking an officer of the Amicae with intent to cause grievous harm
  • imposing his will against an officer of the Amicae outside of the direction of a healer
  • sabotage and vandalism of Amicae holdings
  • refusal to make proper use of Vlosillye stock to maintain his health as an officer of the Vigiles
  • abuse of his power over the soldiers in his charge

We therefore on this Sixth day of Scorchedsky in the Year of Rathe in the Era of the New Combine, declare Valacor Arios Valinos a traitor to the Amicae and to the Praetor to which he owed his loyalty. So long as he refuse to answer to Courts Martial, he is both Exile and Fugitive, and any hand may be raised against him.

By my will, Praetor Ariahdnia z'equidaii Chath do'Trinae, Hero of Maj Dul
 By my hand, Legate Bellum Fafnier Brangwyn
 By my hand, Interim Legate Pax Akhutai Ssarathi
 By my hand, Vigiles Captain Folodu Amrunrosse



Note:
This is an IC exile only, and only in the Antonia Bayle timeline. Continued rp with this player is allowed and even encouraged. All rp guidelines regarding consent and communication are to be followed.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Nearly Midnight News July 18

"So - let's see..."

Koehki says, "folo! <3"

"Oh no! She's here! Get her!"

Tajar says, "*Throws the pen with the neckstring at Folodu*"

Koehki says, "*hides*"

"*blinks and takes the neckpen* Oh...Darn - that's right. That's me again..."

Tajar says, "Now you can’t lose it so easily"

"I had one! I swear I did! Karmac can testify! So, yes, news. What have we...*holds up a bear trap* Not news, but comedic possibilities abound.

Slipps says, "needs cheeses fors baits, yis!"
Taelae says, "If we don't get NWN, I say we hand Fol over to Khimyra"
Slipps says, "fors depantsings?"

"Ack! My pants! Not my pants! I have news! Just not news about bear traps!"

"Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News, No Tutus edition! In fact, I can tell you no bear traps were harmed in the making of this news!"

Tregarde says, "Is it nearly midnight already?"

"It is! And so, we have Nearly Midnight News, sans beartraps, and sans tutus!"
Tajar says, "But with pens!"
"We do have pens! We are sure not to lose these pens. Unless the need to go streaking should arise."

Jethal says, "Streaking is always a possibility"
Taelae says, "I heard a rumor that Jethal went streaking in Qeynos."
Jethal says, "Its no rumour.. the Jethal streaks as the Jethal wishes.  I've streaked everywhere."

"And with that, time to launch straight into the thing that everyone has heard about and no one has been talking about, the Festival of Unity. Today's events include Skindancing, where a bunch of necromantic druids get together and put on a ballet with their zombies, a Rat Race, where the pied piper tromps through Qeynos, and the rather ... unifying High Jump. Wherein a fae pushes people off of a plank. Fifty yards off the ground. Yes, we are all unified in our hate for fae tonight."

"So! first up! For the skin dance, a rather late entry is our winner, making a zombie dance an halfling jig for a full minute before it fell apart! Because Necromancers are not welcomed, they were all arrested, and the guards are the winners. Go guards!"

"In our Rat Race, our winner seems to be a Ratonga from the little city of Warren, part of the giant tunnel network under Norrath. This same Tonga also won the dueling competition, and goes by the name Toxulon."

Toxulon says, "Yays for Warrens!"

"*grins* I would have a prize, but I am informed that if I give away this pen, Bad Things Will Happen. For our last contest, NMN staff went on scene and tried to see what was going on. It - ended badly, and I am glad we push our people off of cliffs often. Learn how to take a fall, that's our motto...for now."

"We seem to have a surplus of mottos lately. Anyone in need, please, feel free to pay ridiculous sums of money for one."

"So! The High Jump, Which Really Should Be Called The Try To Kill You Shove. We have one winner, a guard from Windstalker by the name of Gonterdye. This brave guard was keeping watch when a young boy, who appeared to be Qho, was seen being pushed off the cliff. The guard leapt to his untimely demise, while Qho seemed to have a grip on a griffon. A service memorial will bankrupt the tiny town, so they are mostly not doing more than drinking and shouting. The next guard seized the one to push the beloved Qho, and seemed to shout the following, "But what about all the times he got me killed traipsing around in gods-forsaken lands after his harvests? He didn't even get sent to his room! And, besides, he grabbed the griffon as he went over! You have nothing on me!" The demented attacker is being held with a three copper bail tonight, provided the copper be able to sing and dance on demand. Anyone who might know Narina, the suspect's name, is advised to point and laugh, and mention all the clues you just knew over the years that would point to such an incident."

Jethal says, "pushed? more like thrown.. with a heavy weight attached to his ankles, filled with explosives.."

"Congratulations again to all of our winners! As Toxulon put it, "I ams proud, filthy swamps rat!"."

"In other events tonight, New Halas requests next year's Festival host Polar Bear Games. This is the lack of tutu we mentioned earlier. Anyone wishing to sign a petition to include this is instructed to find any organizer, and approach in all ways Polar Bear, and be really friendly. And also, don't mention NMN or its affiliates to anyone when you do this."

"In Freeport, the tax on sugar went up three hundred percent. In an official statement, the coalition would like to remind you that "the new lower tax on sugar is great for everyone. Two plus two equals five." Buy all you need and more today!"

"An interesting article today from Mara - anyone who sees Qho is to assume he is a fugitive from their laws, and demand his return at once. Apparently, the boy "gathered" the town treasury, and has been seen heading towards Antonica. Anyone with information is advised to be cautious, as the boy will probably try to act innocent and get you to do some other "gathering" for him."

"Terror strikes the heart of Underfoot today as the Thulian-Tunarian Alliance makes war on the old enemies of dwarves who have invaded Kaladim. Some experts suspect this is a direct war on Brell, as the creatures within are also his making. Dwarves are advised to avoid all Koada, Fae, and Iksar until the fighting quiets down, when they can turn their full attention to them."
"Thurgadin had minor riots today as the last ale, beer, or lager, was drunk. The town expects to be miserable until next season, when the new batch is ready. All other cities have an embargo on selling alcohol to the city, though they are quite happy to buy from them."

"In weather, two tornados got into a fistfight over which one got to level a small hut in the Steppes. There is gnolls recovering all over after the struggle ended badly, and they turned on the dogmen. How the tornados did this is unclear, though followers of Bristlebane are suspected."

"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been another edition of the Nearly Midnight News, sans Tutus."
Amriel says, "What about overalls?"
"Overalls are still banned by our underwriters"

---

Toxulon says, "Narinas?!"
Narina says, "So... is anyone going to post bail for me? *tries her best to look innocent*"
Taelae says, "I can post bail for the so called demented attacker"
Narina says, "*smiles at Taelae* Thank you!"
Taelae says, "*goes off to post the bail for Narina*"
Narina says, "*walks out of jail a free halfling, although she suspects that Qho's mother will NOT be making the mistake of asking her to babysit again, unless she's that desperate to get rid of him for awhile...*"
Narina says, "See?!  I knew that kid was bad!"

Nearly Midnight News July 17

Veset says, "*pokes randomly in the dark*"

"Ow! That's my left leg bone, which is connected to my hip bone!"

Veset says, "*pokes randomly in the dark a second time*"

"No! That's my news! Don't...those were my list of future winners...I was going to not cheat with those..."

Alexson says, "Did we win............overalls?"
Veset says, "*gleefully pokes more holes in the paper*"

"NUUUU!!!! *smacks Veset's hands* No overalls! She has news! And it's getting close to time! We must get it back!"

Alexson says, "How about a Tutu?"
Veset says, "*evil laughter*"

"There! Alright, Tutus for all! *arranges her swiss pocket news* I think we are ready to get this clockwork on the road."

Tajar says, "*refuses to wear any tutu*"
Alexson says, "How about a parka?"
Oudelia says, "I'll wear the tutu..but I'm not wearing it over a leotard!"
Cogitation says, "A parka?  In this heat?  Are you /insane/?"

"Good evening and welcome to tonight's Nearly Midnight News! Tonight we are...spotty. *glares at Veset*"
Veset says, "*takes a bow*"

"So bear with me as we cannot afford new paper, and we lost our pen in Antonica during a drinking game."

Karmac says, "Again?! Folodu I swear..."

"Never bet a Dwarf you can drink them under the table. They have an unfair advantage of starting under the table. New motto."
Tajar says, "I'm going to buy you one of those tourist pens, that have a string attached to them so you can't lose them"
Oudelia says, "*runs through the newsroom wearing a tutu and nothing else and hands folalala a new pen*"

"Oh! Pen! *thanks Oudelia* Nice tutu! Did you join a Halasian sports team? More pens? Just don't mail them...The Norrath Express still has a restraining order..."

Oudelia says, "Well I normally wear a kilt...."

"Stick with the tutu. People will take you more seriously. Oh! Right! News!"

"I would welcome you do day three of the Festival of Unity, except it's almost time for day four! We have had a riot of a time, including a thrilling game of "Tell Pretty Stories to Tier'Dal to Make Them Cringe", and Spin Zone, where a tornado is summoned for entertainment! Sadly, the tornado was not such a good idea, and Nettleville will be closed for a few days. A deep, heartfelt Sorry is issued to those living there, but the Crown just cannot fund cleaning with the festival going on. You are asked to Be Strong in the Face of Adversity (TM)."

"In other news, there was an exciting day yesterday during the Dueling Event, wherein we all get together for Love and Unity and Beating Each Others Faces In. We seem to have a winner, besides those who love irony, in Toxulon! Congratulations on being the best at unifying everyone into a bloodied mass! I am sure there was much practice and training, and many hours on the Gnomish Rockmaster 3000, who is our sponsor tonight.

"Rockmaster 3000, for when Dwarves won't cooperate."

"Tonight, we have the adventuresome Scavenger Hunt, where we hear one known as Domino is cheating by having Behind The Scenes Input. Even still, the hunt continues, as Fizzlethorpe does not want it to be predictable.”

Toxulon says, "Domino can't cheat! Blasphemy."

"Anyone interested in cheering is asked to follow the gatherers around. For those wishing for a real win in this, we refer you to Mara, where young Qho masterminds everything. He has, of course, offered the real credit to none other than Frostfell's Greatest Adherent and Dictator for Life, whom remains unnamed. Stupid holes in the paper...Era? Tera? Rera? Lera? Nah...too easy. Anyways, good luck to those hunting, and Don't Ask Qho Or Else!"

"We go elsewhere for our news tonight, and settle in Neriak. Through confessions and vote of her former concubines, it has been announced that Cristanos' mind really is in the gutter."

Alexson says, "*rearranges the words on Folodu's teleprompter, then blames Cogitation*"

"The former servants threaten to tell more if their demands for unionization are not met, and cite Big Secrets and Bedroom Romps threateningly. In this, Cristanos responds, "You thank utter fish gorilla tripe. Guards tickle Freedom!". We decided staying in the city was a bad idea. And reading teleprompters ever worse. Don't trust technology. It will win.

"In other news tonight, New Halas reports an outbreak of yellow snow. We can only imagine this is from the Karan continent's weather being made so pristine for the event that is has sucked the very white from the ice. For those interested, it does not taste like lemonade, and please don't touch it."

"In sports tonight, the Yapping Hills Defenders took on the Varsoon Undead Minions. While greatly outmatched, the Defenders did an admirable job in losing gracefully. We wish we knew what sport this was, but C'est la vie."

"Further east, Freeport took on itself in a struggle to the death as a riot broke out over a chess game. Sources close to the situation say that kA7 - b4  is totally valid, while everyone else says "Shut up and play!" It was like watching drunks fight. But not as funny."

"In Feerott tonight, Thulians sign a peace treaty with Tunarian Blood Cultists. They both announce that the new merger will offer opportunities for both, and they are excited to work together. Anyone wishing to join needs to stay out of Freeport, as Tunarian blood Cultists are anti-Lucanic."

Ombline says, "Yeah, but so is water."

"In Gorowyn today, a pig's cough was misinterpreted as a Sign from a Prophet. Many are still genuflecting tonight, making for one confused swine. All hail the New Bacon Rule."

"In weather outside of Antonica and New Halas, patterns continue to shift, plunging many dockside towns under heavy storms. Temperatures around Norrath also continue to plummet, and many relief supplies from the cities are unable to be delivered. It is recommended not to sculpt weather when one is having a festival, or else we get strange things...like that freak windstorm in the studio last week."

"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News."

Monday, July 16, 2012

Nearly Midnight News July 15

"I...am not a woman dressed like a bat. But I do have some news! In fact, it is Nearly Midnight News! I wish I had some winners to announce, but alas, the list I had got eaten in the feyiron chef cookoff. If anyone had anything papery in their food, please return it at your earliest convenience, and not in a flaming bag on my porch."

Taysa says, "-puts away the tinkered lighter she bought and whistles innocently-"

"However, I do have other interesting news. Qeynos commissioned Cristanos Pinatas for the Festival of Unity. These were a crowd hit most of the day - inside were little arasai shaped candies. In honor of the New Combine Empire, Qeynosians and their allies enjoyed themselves all afternoon. Due to other allies being present, Pin the Tail on Lucan was not brought out this year. This was only a minor setback, as there was more interest in the food than the tails. It seems one out of five judges enjoys a good bit of grub, as one of the Feyiron chef contenders made grubb and crickets the main focus of their meal. Which just goes to conclude, most of Qeynos still doesn't know what to do with Ratonga. The Freeport Militia requests extradition from their new allies. The overall winner of the cookoff was none other than... *reads* I have no idea who this is - is this even a real name? Or is that ... that's a mustard satin. There it is! Iquaii! The New Feyiron Chef this year! Congratulations to the...er... person-whom-I-presume-has-a-face-to-go-with-the-name."

"There was also jousting today. The audience won that one, as many landed on their faces and took comedic blows about their body. Some are listed in critical condition, especially after eating the grubb cricket pie. I am sure they did very well, and we honor them and their efforts. And one day, we might even know their names - but until then, we will call them Bob, Robert, and Bobbie. Please send them congratulations cards, under those names, as soon as possible."

"Further east, there was something going on in Windstalker - In a Nutshell may have lost Kelethin. If anyone has seen the tree city, they are to report it immediately to the nearest Arasai who is not gleefully shocking others."

Tregarde says, "Huh? What happened to my tavern?"

"It was in Windtalker, yes?"

Tregarde says, "That's Wednesday.  *rushes off to check if the Nutshell is still i Kelethin anyway*"

"Ergo, lost. I put out a search notice for you. Oh! Well...maybe we got the day wrong? Or...the bar? Well - either way, the nice militia man said he would look into it right away, after he was done filing his taxes and reports and seeing to his little kitten."

"Elsewhere, it has come to light that NMN staff might not be entirely honest or knowledgeable! We advise giving them extra alms to help fix this problem. Also, take pity on your newscasters. They work hard to make sure everything is mucked up nice and good."

Greigh says, "*rips a drumstick off the turkey in his hat and offers it to Folodu*"

"And while we are at it, we declare this News Week. We are sure we can talk to someone about making this official... And might even have some clue of what is going on during this time! though we would not count on that. *takes the drumstick*”
“In other news, changes of citizenship are way down after it has been reported that officials like to draw on official documents, invalidating them. Immigration still continues, though documentation is spotty. Please see your local guard to have this problem corrected immediately. They are sure to handle it professionally and in a timely manner, though results may vary depending on what time of day the breeze blows."

"In sports today, the Nerian Jousting league got kicked out of the Festival of Unity on the grounds of "jousting with metal poles is not kosher". They are expecting to whine about this for some time, and plot revenge. Anyone with information about what this might be is to be considered an accomplice and dealt with in the swiftest, most efficient, kindest way possible. Anyone experiencing cognitive dissonance on what that is should also report to their local guard."

"Breaking news tonight in Freeport! Every vase on a street has been shattered! No further details are known, though the local Ne'er-do-wells are suspected. Anyone caught doing anything in Freeport might be one of these, and the militia recommends treating them as traitors to Lucan."

"In weather, Antonica sculpted a beautiful day - everywhere else was miserable as a result"

"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News. Now why do I have a turkey leg..."

Nearly Midnight News July 13

"Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News! I was your host, but now I'm an intern! Good night! *walks off to the casino* *walks back* I didn't have any money... So...I suppose news. Maybe it will cover our addiction."
"In tonight's news, we have a shocking expose!"
Shizouka says,  "I was young, those pictures were stolen and photoshopped!"
"Those who you thought you knew, rediscovered!"
Serrestt says,  "*Is shocked, despite having not heard the expose yet*"
"You had pictures? Let's see! *peers* Those aren't compromising...those are only innuendos. But here, see, we have the shocking news about Maltus everling! And Brandus Levine! And Britta Pieflinger! And more! Did you know, in his youth, Maltus was a sidewalk two-bit hooker? But wait! Before you go after him! Hear the shocking news of his brother betraying him and killing everyone! Actually, that's not all that shocking. What's really shocking is that, in the sunlight, he....sparkles!"
Shizouka says,  "*falls to her knees* Noooooo!"
Taysa says,  "Yes, I'd be embarrassed too."
Serrestt says,  "Mes woulds nots gos outsides eithers ins thats case."
"And Lady Pieflinger! Does NOT use real whipped cream in her whipped cream pies!"
Taysa says,  "-le gasp!-"
"Brandus Levine is a swindler and a John!"
Shizouka says,  "... a toilet?"
"And, you will only hear this here, but old  Varsoon? A dandy. Complete and total fop! Not a shred of dignity to be had! I mean really...he has a weaving shop is his studio. What do you expect? All those large, hulking golems..."
Shizouka says,  "I always wondered about the coat with shoulder pads three feet out."
"Next in our news... Let's see...ah yes! In Qeynos! A large bubble festival took place! It was going well, until the wind shifted and everyone took a delightful ball of soap to the eye. Counselors will be standing by to anyone who feels scarred for life.”
"In other news, the Nerian Electroshock team has been reformed since yesterday's disaster. Interrogations are expected to continue on schedule until all arasai are filled with pure glee."
Shizouka says,  "Or Maple Syrup."
"Anyone with news regarding the persistent tiger in the room is expected to to scream like schoolgirls."
"More in Qeynos tonight, a casino opened its doors. There is expected to be gambling and gamblers counseling, for those who can't quite give it up. There is also Camel Toe, apparently a bar inside the casino.  For those interested in not paying their bills, there might be a torture room on site. Isn't Qeynos grand? Everyone else puts that right out in the open. There are reports of bowling, and Human Darts, and also a thrilling game of pin the tail on the donkey. For details and correct information, please direct your attention somewhere else."
"In weather, the sun shone, and the wind blew, but nothing else happened. Not even night."
"That is the Nearly Midnight News for tonight. I am your intern, Folodu amrunrosse."