Nearly Midnight News, July 11

Saturday July Eleventh Twenty Fifteen

Vician ~rplfg~ "Who wants to make me a bunch of bottles for the tavern........any one............"

Akhutai ~rplfg~ "Woot! FInished the whole darn beetle herding line. I have earned this set of RP clothes."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "And your sanity remained intact....bug wrangling is...infuriating"

Axun ~rplfg~ "Sanity? The hell is that?"

Miasmata ~rplfg~ "-throws bottles of ice-water at Axun-"

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "Folodu might be convinced with proper tribute"

Axun ~rplfg~ "*ducks with a grin*"

Vician ~rplfg~ "So like free booze from a month?"

Vician ~rplfg~ "*For"

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "Wonder which of them is Seven of Nine.."

Axun ~rplfg~ "Testin my macro making sure it still works."

Axun ~rplfg~ "Club Ravenous is now open! Norrath's hottest late night venue, for all the creatures of the night, and mortals to. Come see why you are afraid of the dark! Back by popular demand! (Mistmoore Craigs, Freeport, under Alupia.)"

Akhutai ~rplfg~ ""I've wrestled with reality for  years, doctor, and I'm happy to say I finally won out over it." - Elwood P. Dowd, "Harvey""

Axun ~rplfg~ "Ok it works."

Miasmata ~rplfg~ "-drops down to a branch a bit closer to Axun, peering at him with bright eyes-"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "You opening tonight?"

Grauhl ~rplfg~ "Grauhl like the dark. Club have pretty Oagar lady?"

Axun ~rplfg~ "I have no idea. xD"

Miasmata ~rplfg~ "-jabbers something in Sebilisian at Axun-"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Pop up venue. How fun!"

Vician ~rplfg~ "<Appears from the shadows next to Miasmata>"

Mairah ~rplfg~ "club ravenous!   yay!"

Lurindae ~rplfg~ "ya fun"

Gryphyth ~rplfg~ "*bites Axun*"

Axun ~rplfg~ "*moans*"

Folodu ~rplfg~ "Did someone say "We're gonna try to tempt the Rex?""

Axun ~rplfg~ "Stop teasing, gryph."

Lurindae ~rplfg~ "ye really"

Berryl ~rplfg~ "hello"

Lurindae ~rplfg~ "sighs'"

Methadriel ~rplfg~ "hello, Berryl :)"

Axun ~rplfg~ "*waves*"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "/waves x"

Vician ~rplfg~ "Free booze from my tavern for a month for who ever makes me a bunch of bottles of alcoholic beverages. AND a free inn room for that duration"

Miasmata ~rplfg~ "I'd show up to Club Rav, not as Mias, but I think I have an Ayr'Dal who could be entertaining if only in his utter innocence despite being a Freeportian."

Axun ~rplfg~ "Now lessee.. .. "

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "I dunna. Might be to risque for my naive eyes =P"

Axun ~rplfg~ "I was just testing hte marco I am not sure what venues are running these days but I may open if demaned. Though I have a few things to fix inside here."

Axun ~rplfg~ "If axun dances on stage that boy will turn the color of a berry."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Sat nights are kinda open this late"

Berryl ~rplfg~ "wow, it is taking forever to load the game"

Axun ~rplfg~ "m'kay just making some quick adjustments here.. "

Axun ~rplfg~ "GAH"

Folodu

“Hmm hmm hmm. Where did I - oh right. My desk got burned. And then none I found was suitable. Well that's inconvenient. We'll just have to do this the old fashioned way.”

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Waits for the sound of a closet puking its contents followed by the "Samson and Son' theme song"

Folodu

“Welcome to another edition of the Nearly Midnight News, the "How long has it been edition?" I'm your host, Folodu Amrunrosse, detailer of all things News-y. In an inspired move, the NMN headquarters have relocated to a small but ginormous estate that I happen to call "Home" and "Fort Mine". It is, sadly, in the sun too often, so I don't like to see the outside.

“In tonight's News we have... er...Terrible Lizards!"

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "*snerk*"

Folodu

Giant ones! That go RAR! and get copied. And modified. and then we have a bit of a problem on “our hands.... BUT IT'S OKAY! We got a team of experts working on that who... were... all eaten about five minutes ago. Well bugger."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "Throw more paladin at it."

Folodu

"Okay, run and scream. It's the most effective thing you can do at this point. Paladins upset Terrible Lizard stomach something awful. That's just mean."

Vician ~rplfg~ "So Folodu what about that alcohol bottles. Free booze and a free inn room"

Folodu

"Drinking While Newscasting Is A Prohibited Act And Will Be Treated As Treason - Termination Will Ensue. So says the Policies and Procedures."

Gryphyth ~rplfg~ "Axun, open the club!"

Axun ~rplfg~ "Almost ready You can come early if you want  I unlocked it."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "He doesn't care where you come, as long as you clean it up /rimshot"

Folodu

"In other news tonight, I have taken up chicken farming. This is more intimidating than one might realize when your damned chickens get on the damned roof. Thankfully, I have persistence, and intelligence, so it was only a half-hour chase."

Vician ~rplfg~ "Wait a second is the crypt of betrayal accessible directly from The Down Below?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Are you cybering with allegory, Vic?"

Dritzian ~rplfg~ "Nope... Vermin Snye, then up the ramp, follow the tunnel and you'll see it"

Axun ~rplfg~ "someone keeps moving my house actors. -sigh-"

Axun ~rplfg~ "I am blaming Eirthi."

Vician ~rplfg~ "What? And thanks Dritz"

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "maybe your house actors are half-chicken."

Folodu

"...which doesn't sound very smart on the surface, but it is! I promise! And then you catch them and they calm down, and then put them up. And all is right with the world. Until the next day."

"Chicken Farming - not for the feint of heart."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "or house Actor Farming, apparently. Worse than the fence-what-is-a-fence-can-i-eat-it houdini chickens."

Axun ~rplfg~ "Well we do get pretty hungry... they might have had a bite or two taken from them before. *helo*"

Folodu

"In other news, we have a new research report from Nektulos Forest."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Dark elves are still indeed....dark?"

Folodu

“A group of scientists have discovered a sect of gender-confused treants. The treats, once thought to be generally a-sexual and poly-reproductive, have since started attempting to express a gender identity - mostly with equipment stolen from killed people."

"One found a fedora, and looks quite fetching for the most part."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "..."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "**snerk*"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "A fedora in the branch is worth a bush in the roots?"

Folodu

"It is unclear what has caused this phenomena to occur, and the scientists are cataloging all relevent information. One thing that keeps recurring are references to "wood" and "hard", which seems to not quite make much sense."

Arfinn ~rplfg~ "what the fancy feck am I reading?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "It's all the news fit to be broadcasted"

Arfinn ~rplfg~ "says who?"

Folodu

"....We have a Nearly Midnight News virgin! During a talk about treant gender expression!"

"Do with that information what you will."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "woo! **gets the whipped cream**"

Airames ~rplfg~ "hi"

Arfinn ~rplfg~ "let me speak with your editor"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "If they come at you with a kiddie pool and a dozen cans of creamed corn....run"

Folodu

"I am my editor. We got payroll cuts."

Arfinn ~rplfg~ "<flipdesk>"

Folodu

"I'm also my stylist and at times my gofor. I get me lots of coffee. It's not a glamorous life, but the News is important. We learn about things. Like Treat wood."

"Er. Treant wood."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "In the interest of science, or possibly the Union for the Proper Use of the Letter N, can you elaborate on the nature of these ... ahem... "treats"? Or is there something you'd like to share with the audience?"

Akhutai ~rplfg~ "You keep making the same typo. One might think that you feel that treants who express a sexual identity are treats themselves."

Folodu

"In other news, the source of "jumjum" has been discovered. It is not the harmless berry we were lead to believe but is, in fact, a Controlled Substance."

"....I thought we talked about not talking about my particular wood carving business! You leave my ...merchandise... out of this!"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "No wonder those half-feir skid surfers love it so much"

Dritzian ~rplfg~ "I knew those halflings were up to something"

Folodu

"Yes! Halflings! Controlled substances!"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Half-feirs...with their wee beady eyes...."

Ariahdnia ~rplfg~ "We might be persuaded in exchange for a discount on custom orders."

Folodu

"They are all made by some bald halfling looksing to make some gold to fix his... I dunno, broken foot, or something."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Male pattern baldness. On his right shoulder."

Folodu

"That must have been it. My field reporters weren't very clear on that point. In fact, they said something about testing the product, and then it all stopped making sense."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "This is your news report on Jum. Any questions?"

Vician ~rplfg~ "So no one wants the free booze and inn room for making me bottles of alcohol :( "

Cavuul ~rplfg~ "Question here...uhm...have you been snorting the acid or smoking it?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "The **JUM** Cavuul..."

Folodu

"I think we might need them to pee, or something. I'll set HR on it.... which is odd, since that means me."

"Elsewhere on Norrath ... oh right, that whole dragon thing isn't going on anymore, is it. *tears that page up* "

Axun ~rplfg~ "Ok. Tweaks done for now. Will do more later. Now macro is official."

Folodu

“Well bugger. Are the Knights of Freeport still giving out free hugs?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Free with the usual donation for the Widows and Orphans Fund"

Axun ~rplfg~ "Club Ravenous is now open! Norrath's hottest late night venue, for all the creatures of the night, and mortals to. Come see why you are afraid of the dark! Back by popular demand! (Mistmoore Crags, Freeport, under Alupia.)"

Folodu

"Ah yes! And as always, the donations are given freely and honestly with no pressure! And make sure you ignore that small sharp feeling in your back as you give it. It's just a mosquito."

"I wasn't paid to say that, by the way. I did it freely and honestly."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Do you have your papers.....?"

Axun ~rplfg~ "My dog ate my papers. "

Folodu

"I have all kinds of papers, Mister. Don't make me get them out."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Fair enough. Anything open?"

Axun ~rplfg~ "Yes. Club Rav is open. Finally. For real this time."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Ravenos. My sexy name twin"

Folodu

"In weather tonight ...Yes, we are still doing weather.... The Thundering Steppes are windy, rainy, and thunder-y. "

"Maj'Dul hasn't seen rain since 3299."

"...and If anyone asks about snow in Thurgadin, I'm going to scream."

Axun ~rplfg~ "What abou the..."

Maulgrim ~rplfg~ "It doesn't snow in Thurgadin. Thurgadin is underground. It snows in Velious."

Shalour ~rplfg~ "IT SNOWS IN THE GREATDIVIDE"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Don't eat yellow snow."

Folodu

"... And no one asked. Woo!"

"In sports this season, the Freeport Soccer team lost to the Sinking Sands Shufflers. It was an upsetting game, which Freeport clearly being the crowd favorite."

Rhyianna ~rplfg~ "isnt that an executable crime to lose?"

Shalour ~rplfg~ "isn't it an executable crime to show joy?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "They played in the damn dunes. The game was rigged to begin with"

Folodu

"However, with weapons being banned last year, when the zombies got a little hungry, they did what comes naturally to them."

Cavuul ~rplfg~ "how much longer is the news?  Are there any other channels?  Perhaps a channel showing a silent movie?"

Folodu

"The news is as long as it amuses me - and I killed the actors in the silent movie."

"Freeport, by the way, is recruiting for their soccer team."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "I hear the retirement package is a bit skimpy..."

Maulgrim ~rplfg~ "I was Freeport's leading center guard for their basketball team. I was indomitable."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "I tried out for the Cheer Team...."

Maulgrim ~rplfg~ "Mostly because I'm over twelve feet tall and all of my competition is less than ten feet tall, but whatever."

Folodu

"Anyways, anyone interested in signing up, please see the Knights of Freeport for information. Tell them you want to take one for the team!"

Akhutai ~rplfg~ "So you can sign up! It's basically the same sport, right? There's a ball."

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "And if you have holes in your pocket, then you have enough experience playing ball to join the team"

Coribyn ~rplfg~ "(and welcome back Folodu, missed your news for a while now)"

Folodu

"This has been another edition of the Nearly Midnight News. I am your Host, Folodu Amrunrosse.Good night, and thanks for all the fish."

Methadriel ~rplfg~ "/applaud"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Damnit. No lotto numbers.... /grins Good report"

Cavuul ~rplfg~ "I didn't think that would ever end"

Axun ~rplfg~ "*licks cori*"

Coribyn ~rplfg~ "ahhh... oh hi there"

Akhutai ~rplfg~ "I think my pet definitely hits harder than me."

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "OMG, I missed the nearly nightly news"

Folodu

"Transcripts will go up on the Vigiles Amicae blog on Monday, and will be available to read in a player book as well, in the basement of Sytan's library portal in Freeport. The shelves are labeled!"

Dreycon ~rplfg~ "Any venues running?"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Fol got you covered, Xyv. Wonder if you can get back issues for the shelves?"

Shalour ~rplfg~ "what was Ravenous's adress?"

Ariahdnia

"Back issues of NMN transcripts are in fact available! Send a letter to Sytan with which ones you'd like, and when a good time to deliver them is!"

Axun ~rplfg~ "Club Ravenous is now open! Norrath's hottest late night venue, for all the creatures of the night, and mortals to. Come see why you are afraid of the dark! Back by popular demand! (Mistmoore Craigs, Freeport, under Alupia.)"

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "YEEEEEEEES. Expect a long request from me, Ariah."

Axun ~rplfg~ "o.o"

Maelgrym ~rplfg~ "Tell us how you really feel, please. And remember, be truthful, this is for prosperity"

Ariahdnia

"Also available through his library: an assortment of wondertales, dissection notes, philosophical treatises, and the Complete Art of War, to suit a variety of reader appetites."

Vician ~rplfg~ "I'd love to stay but i'm gonna call it a night, I should be able to finish Stone Hearth Hall thanks to a few people who assissted me in preparing this place"

Folodu ~rplfg~ "heh - i love dissection notes"

Vician ~rplfg~ "Ciao"

Edumia ~rplfg~ "<pokes>"

Ariahdnia

"The next segment up for translation and re-binding I believe details mandibular operations and outlines historical and best-practice methods of repair."

Axun ~rplfg~ "*shriesk* Don't poke meh!"

Axun ~rplfg~ "*shrieks"

Edumia ~rplfg~ "<pokes axun again> Too bad."

Edumia ~rplfg~ "Anything going on tonight?"

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "Sytan's mailbox is full"

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "I has a sad face."

Folodu ~rplfg~ "and here's to catching that damn raccoon tonight"

Folodu ~rplfg~ "oh. a moment. I’ll go fix that"

Xyviene ~rplfg~ "I will however, take all the books. ALL OF THEM, all the time."

Ariahdnia

"It's been somewhat of a delay as our primary translator has been distracted with an investigation into the evolutionary data regarding the particularly swift and stable nature of elven locomotion despite their upright bipedal habit.

“Also, for some reason his letters are now coming by way of the ethernauts, and require extensive chronostabilization and decontamination treatment in order to be handled."

Akhutai ~rplfg~ "It'd probably be better to just go read them on the Vigiles Amicae blog if you want all of them. It's the first hit for "vigiles amicae" on Google because of course it is."

Nearly Midnight News, May 16th

*pushes a big desk into the room made out of sumac. It seems to be poorly constructed - on the far end of it, a pile of ashes is pushed over.*

"There - new desk."

*jumps on top of the desk and takes a seat*

"Good morning and welcome to the Nearly Midnight News.”

“I am your anchorette, Folodu Amrunrosse. Tonight, as with most nights, I haven't a farkin' clue what I'm doing. So! Let's see what we can come up with!"

*pulls a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolds it*

“Hmm hmm hmm… No, that's dull. Boring. Too easy. Ah! Here we go!"

"The Department of Gnomeland Security would like to remind everyone that Bleeding Hearts is bad for your health. It recommends also not changing your clockwork every six months, and never, ever doing maintenance on it.”

“Additionally, a bleeding heart is bad for your health, and they would love to send you to a doctor. Preferably in Halas. Because they already got that figured out, and they have better things to do with their time."

"In other news, Baxter Johnson, son of the infamous Johnson Street Twins mob boss Bubba Johnson, formally apologized today for all the bank robberies. It is suspected that it was insincere, as he was robbing a bank at the time.”

“One prominent citizen did note that he was crying at the time. The only other witness, a small kitten, had this to say. "Mow....Meooooowww. Mow. Me. Meh... Purrr.". And then he fell asleep."

"For those seeking to bring Baxter to justice, he has left his calling card as per usual, signed only: B. Johnson. 4250 First Street, With the usual tag line, "We do it all, from petty theft to conspiracy!"

Corovar tells RPLFG, "I shall have to pursue this enemy against justice."

"In other news, the plague striking the gnolls down has run its course. Mostly by killing the gnolls.”
“Oh well. Good riddance. For those who cared, oh darn."

"In lighter news this evening, the Erudin or Paineel have decided to open the Vigilant to tours and tea with the Captain. The tea will be 20 minutes in duration, and you are not to make eye contact. Failure to follow this and 47 other arbitrary rules will result in death."

"The annual Gorowyn Kite Festival happened without a flaw for the seventh year running."
"It seems that previously, there were a lot of things to be hidden dangers, like bikes, and infants, when flying a kite. However, since the change, there have been no kites and no deaths"
Flo: "The evidence is clear, and must be obeyed."

Corovar tells RPLFG, "..... o.o"

"Incidentally, Old Man Dave is now sure proficient at keeping kite-flyers off his lawn. We are sure these are unrelated."

"In weather tonight, there was snow in Maj'Dul."

Amarillan tells RPLFG, "gerroff mah lawn"
Corovar tells RPLFG, "Wait, what? snow in Maj'Dul? I'm missing it."

"Not that is mattered much, as it melted about 143.6 miles above the atmosphere."

Corovar tells RPLFG, "........"
Corovar tells RPLFG, "-cries-"

"However, the occasion will be celebrated every year on this day now by means of throwing candy at little children in what must be assumed a very Nerian response."

"The Nearly Midnight News is brought to you in part by: Me. Need more me? Send cash, gold, or silver. Don't expect much on your return, however."

"Thank you for tuning in. I am your Anchorette, Folodu Amrunrosse."

Nearly Midnight News, May 8th

*steps up to a pile of dust and sighs* 

"You know, I might just have to clean that myself. Maybe I should have just taken a disinfecting wipe to it or something… But the burning was pretty neat..."

*shuffles a few papers*

"Well, anyways. Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News, April Fools Edition!"

Kaimos tells rplfg, "finally"

"Er...May Flowers Edition? TIME! WITH WEATHER! That may and may not be snow. I am your anchorette, Folodu Amrunrosse. And I have very little planned tonight, which is not much dissimilar from most nights!"

Karreth tells rplfg, "Along with Smarch, we now have the month: May-not"

"May-not? How am I supposed to work that in the calendar? Maybe it has twelve days, and I pull some from Frostfell… Add an hour to November… And draw smiley faces on October. There! Good as new!"

"In tonight's news, we have a shocking case of Dragon Love brought to light!"

"It seems, what with the cities being held under siege for so long, a few of the more impressionable minded have taken a slight liking to our oppressive Dragon regime."

"This phenomena, known as Dragon-Bubble Stockholm Syndrome (how it's Stockholm, when there is no Stockholm in Norrath, we may never know), has been observed in a large portion of people who, for some reason, refer to themselves as "Furry", regardless of the dragons not having fur at all, and usually they don't either!"

Ikro tells rplfg, "No no, we are scalies. Do your research!"
Saireena tells rplfg, "that is, basically, true"

"In the words of one prominent cultist, "We are Scalies! Hisss!" Mind you, they were hissing with a non-forked tongue. And also, there was some mention of a Temeraire, though it was like speaking Gnoll to me."

Ikro tells rplfg, "Iksar do not have forked tongues either."
Hyalit tells rplfg, "Iksars got blue tongues don't they!"

"Hey, who's doing the news here? We don't need to facts for News! We just need a fifth of whiskey and some dice… and a new dartboard."

Ikro tells rplfg, ":P"
Saireena tells rplfg, "is this a Fox subsidiary? it must be"

"And maybe a spot of coffee? Venti caramel macchiato with a side of coffee."

Corydonn tells rplfg, "What have I logged in to."
Hyalit tells rplfg, "Will they have blue fox furries in the new expac?"

"So anyways! Scalies! Probably better for you than Scabies, but I imagine the itching is still present."

"In further news, Norrath experienced quite a shock yesterday when everyone lost consciousness for something called an "Update". I feel no better informed, but at least my hand no longer looks like a bat wing."

Karreth tells rplfg, "lol"

"For those who have experienced this or other such problems, they are unique experiences, and it really is just you, you freaks. Don't bother seeking a counsellor. They wont understand. It's best just to give all your money it the NMN staff so that we can afford research."

"Or at least a picture book so we can tell what kind of tongue iksar have. Not that it comes up often, mind you."

"So, money. Send it. Your life will have meaning again. Maybe."

Ikro tells rplfg, "Rounded tip, very long. Iksar can lick their eyes to clean them."

"Elsewhere on Norrath, NMN staffers were creeped out when an iksar licked their own eye."

Xiathe tells rplfg, "Just the tip."
Alupia tells rplfg, "(LOL)"
Kaimos tells rplfg, "delicious"

"There is nothing else to report, and this incident seems limited to a few social graces that have not been instilled. Like when Kerra lick themselves in public."

Ikro tells rplfg, "And here I was going to be nice.."
Karrha tells rplfg, "That's for your edification."

"Or Koada get all high and holier-than-thou. Or when Teir torture their little brother. Which totally is the same thing, but a little different."

Fendrigal tells rplfg, "I'm sure everyone tortures their little brothers..."

"...Probably."

Alupia tells rplfg, "My little brothers happen to -like- when I torture them. Of course they are also Koada'dal... hmm… My family is very twisted."

"Moving on! In further news, a new bar is going to be openning...what, in a little over a week? It will be called the Harpy, and the proprietor expects very large tips in the form of coins."

"I am possibly getting some kick-backs to say that. So tip good or you will continue to suffer the Wrath of the News. Also, it's very classy in there, and suits us soldiers quite well."

"So look for the Harpy in a week!"

"In other, more personal news… It rained, and a bunch of snails came out. I have here about a pound and a half in a couple jars."

Coribyn tells rplfg, "What...no earthworms?"
Susana tells rplfg, "I took the earthworms already."

"I'll probably have to put a picture on the RM forums..."

Susana tells rplfg, "They're fantastic for mash."
Kaimos tells rplfg, "please, no more pinworms"
Coribyn tells rplfg, "Oh, i see"

"Because it's seriously kind of creepy, how their little eyestalks are all moving and waving about."
"And as I opened the door, I disturbed a nest of sparrows, and my idiot failcat ran out and snatched one out of midair! and ran off with it."

Xiathe tells rplfg, "That sounds like the opposite of failing to me."

"A cat that can’t jump 17 inches onto a couch. Yea, he's an idiot savant. More idiot than savant."

Kaimos tells rplfg, "surely to give it a ride home?"

"Probably. To a very eternal home."

Fendrigal tells rplfg, "*starts a release the snails petition followed by picketing with signs*"

*starts an escargot club*

"In weather tonight, it's... dear gods, I don't want to look. The paper is going to say snowing in Thurgadin. It -always- says snowing in Thurgadin!"

*looks*

“...raining littler frogs in Feerrott. Well. there is a change of pace."

Xiathe tells rplfg, "Let's talk about the weather in the only place that matters. Neriak."

"Neriak will continue to experience eternal night until they get their collective Teir heads straight and move somewhere where there is sun. Like Maj’Dul."

Alupia tells rplfg, "*hisses*"
Xiathe tells rplfg, "But Maj'dul is bright. And ugly. And smelly. And not dark."

"Also, that will take care of their little vampire problem."

Alupia tells rplfg, "We are not a problem. We are population control… *smirks*"
Vaelenn tells rplfg, "But vampires are hot without the sun."

"NMN! Solving societal problems one city at a time!"

Susana tells rplfg, "Neriak needs population control like Norrath needs another sundering. Have you seen how vacant these places are? The sparse NPC population is appalling."
Kaimos tells rplfg, "i want riotous crowds!!!"

"And now to an expert on vampires, Field Agent Folodu! "

"Thank you! We have vampires! A whole slew of them in the Faydark! Well, a little less than before, after a few adventurers went into the castle."

Xiathe tells rplfg, "Now THAT'S population control."
Kaimos tells rplfg, "vampires are just doing the jobs others wont do"

"I think they went to give Mayong a gift basket."

Vaelenn tells rplfg, "OF PAIN!"

"It had water, and some kindling. And someone brought a pound of rice. Which no one could figure out why! Back to you!"

Kaimos tells rplfg, "sounds like a wedding"

"Wow, adventurers are weird!"

"Further upcoming events include Pay It Forward and the ... What is it, Faydwer Faire? The one where they have all the cupcakes and fae flying around singing Kum By Ah?”

“Nothing serious to report there. News is for maiming."

"Of which, tonight in sports, we saw the Thundermist Centaurs versus the Splitpaw Gnolls for a rousing game of "Kill as many as you can"!"

Coribyn tells rplfg, "*mumbles* why would anyone want to cook Mayong some rice...he would not give them enough time to do so anyways"

"While the game is still going strong, the crowd favorite tonight, the Gnolls, have arranged a cheer leading squad. Come out and see it! But not too closely, as I have heard Gnolls have Plague. And are ugly."

"Thank you for tuning in. I was your anchorette, Folodu Amrunrosse. And now I'm on a horse!"