Ariahdnia says "And now, for the not-quite midnight report, with Folodu as your host."
"Alright, tonight is a bit of a crazy one... As today, the dow Jones kept falling for the third straight week as the zombie population tripled. The Lycanthropy Society has this to say, "The undead have always been a problem. You still refuse to acknowledge our role in keeping them down. Please! Repeal LEPER!"
"In other news, the fae courts have erupted in violence again over the question of color coding the library. Three were memed. Queen Mab is reported to have said "Pink dictionaries are just like those stupid seelie!""
"In sadder news, Professor von Bistek passed in his study last night. He discovered conclusive proof of the previously unknown number P. He is survived. His will is written in a code of personal anecdote and riddles believed to conceal a new number."
"Weather pattern continue to shift in the Great Planets region as meteor-sized frogs pelt the smaller moons of Norrath. Leading astronomers ate well."
"In athletics today, the Lucanic Knights beat out the Queen's Own by a landslide in the Running of the Floods competition. However, they were overcome in the next event by a single Ratonga with a sign written in gibberish. We would have comments from the athletes, but the landslide got them all at the finish line. They will be missed."
"The crafters of Neriak and New Halas got into a spat recently over the use of the word "linen". Neriak wants to use the word universally, while New Halas demands that only fibers of the bast plant be called so - most everyone else did not get either side, and bought stolen goods from Mara."
"In the farther reaches, our long-time reporter we have never heard from was eaten by a goat. As soon as we remember his name, we will let you know."
"That is your almost-midnight news. This is Folodu, and I have an anchor. Watch out for derelict ships."