"nearly-midnight news? oh crap...gotta come up with something. Oh!"
“In
a random robbery last night, a ship's anchor was stolen. The
then-drifting vessel crashed into many other ships in the bay. The local
constable points to hooligans."
"The
local Hooligans Union responds, "We ain't done nothin' wrong! we pay
our taxes, too! If we had jobs, we'd be at them! No, don't steal the
reporter's pen! Down!""
"Incidentally, if anyone happens to have a pen, our local news crew is currently unable to write anything down."
"The
teemsters had a busy day today at their yearly puppy auction. As per
every year, nothing sold as no one speaks puppy. Still, with the invited
Hooligans, everything was gone by the end of the day. They all counted
it as a pure success - some items listed for sale were from such notable
places as the landslide, the one remaining post that did not wash
away."
"On
the topic of sports, today the Halasian Lagers played the Coldain Pale
Ales. Partway into the match, no one could remember what was going on
anymore. And also the score could not be written down for lack of a pen.
Both teams lost toes and fingers due to frostbite - medics are still
stitching the last on tonight."
“This is Folodu with your almost-midnight news."
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