*clears the snow and ice from her gloves*
“Well, I think this doesn't need reported. But Let's do it anyways!"
"Good evening and welcome to the Nearly Midnight News. I am your anchorette, Folodu Amrunrosse. And Tonight, we killed a dragon!"
"Wait, no. Dwarf! Er… giant dwarf!"
Aisleigh tells rplfg, "Giant giant."
Pennae tells rplfg, "big giant ice thingies"
"He certainly didn't look much like a giant."
"Being undead and ghostly and all."
"He looked a little thin around the middle, if you catch my drift."
"And he might have hit hard. Once."
Aisleigh tells rplfg, "we made him that way"
"Yea, it was brief. Which is not to say he was briefs, as he was certainly not underwear. Though he went under after a few hits."
"I would like to take all the credit for this. But all I did was play in the snow."
"So! Congratulations to everyone who helped and killed things! Your bloodthirsty natures are noted and appreciated!"
Phaust tells rplfg, "YAAAAY STUFF"
Pennae tells rplfg, "<"
Lythil tells rplfg, "Yay! shiny rings"
"In other news, we had a more somber event in Somborn this week."
Vichane tells rplfg, "alot of people dont have that sig heritage quest done...maybe alternate nights..storm gorge..ring war..?"
Lythil tells rplfg, "Rp , public raids. Drinking at random bar or house afterwards?"
"It seems young Ralem Christof has finally kicked the bucket. Again. So you totally did not find his bones in Deathfist. It was a rival, and a long plot."
"Needless to say. Ralem is dead. No one knows or cares who this is. Rest well, Ralem. We will forever haven't a clue who you were."
"In other news, it seems there was bacon."
"Sorry, Bacon. The proper noun one. That most people don't try to eat. You know, that one. Kind of has teeth? And a long face?"
"Anyways! Bacon has joined a new diet regimen."
Sylvree tells rplfg, "Meeaaat."
Pennae tells rplfg, "*giggle*"
"Instead of eating adventurers, which are high in cholesterol, he will now only eat pastry-tarts."
"We are not sure why pastries… Perhaps he suspects bakers might not be on to his ways and find an easier meal. To date, he has only severed three hands that were trying to feed him."
"Don't tell the Bakers And Provisioners Guild. They can figure it out like the rest of us did. I mean, look what he took off of me!"
*hold up a hand with three fingers*
“I was carrying this good luck charm for forever!"
*tosses the monkeypaw over her shoulder*
"Never trust the cold-blooded."
Pennae tells rplfg, "*smirk*"
"Well, there are the cryomancers… And the Coldain as a rule are pretty good… And the Rime aren't really that bad either, when you get down to it..."
"But! You get the point! No trustee!"
"In Thundermist tonight, a celebration has been arranged for the lone survivor of the annual Thundermist and Windstalker rugby match."
"For those following this story, the survivor was a bystander, though there has still been no response from them yet. The game field is again a ruin, as is usual. The Sultanate in Maj'Dul has sent his letter of appreciation of the devastation. And Thundermist has finally claimed the hitherto unclaimable title of rugby champions. They are planning their next rivalry even now with Mara, who is said to be "wicked good" by certain segments of the population."
Pennae tells rplfg, "o.O"
"For those who are interested, Monday has been cancelled. sleep in, have tea, and make cookies. Expect things to be worse Tuesday, however."
Phaust tells rplfg, "But... but... Brell day.."
Halsani tells rplfg, "But there's hockey on tomorrow..."
"Can't be helped. You will just have to cram it all in on Teusday. And for those of you whho think I am misspelling Teusday… Bugger it. I can say it however I please. I'm the one stuck with it."
Pennae tells rplfg, "aha sure"
"The Nearly Midnight News staff would like to thank certain goblish tribes, who have recently donated a member to try to sell some odds and ends."
"This helper, known as Meisha, is a liar and a thief, and you should support them whole-heartedly. But don't believe a word."
Ceayla tells rplfg, "Save Meisha!"
Ceayla tells rplfg, "*nodnod* Buy their stuff and save them"
"I don't even... Is that what she is saying about me?"
Ceayla tells rplfg, "Maybe..."
"Oh gods… Moving on!
*mutters: gonna kill that goblin.*
"Interesting news lately. Missing persons reports are flooding the desks of both major cities."
"They are disappearing without a trace, and so far no one has claimed responsibility. However, there is an upswing in food kitchens supporting people with new resources."
Pennae tells rplfg, "*blink* Polle....."
"We are sure these are unrelated-but-balancing acts. For more details on either, stand around the corner in the dark near a food kitchen. I am sure it will all go well."
Halsani tells rplfg, "Are any of them run by a gentleman with the last name of Todd, perchance?"
Phaust tells rplfg, "*totally doesn't make meat pies out of people*"
"In an unrelated and potentially remarkable bit of news, the Lady Chancellor has been found."
Phaust tells rplfg, "(yes, Phaust does <.< >
Halsani tells rplfg, "(The Soylent Green Special? :) )"
"While most know the Lady as Basel, I'm sure most did not know she was missing."
Phaust tells rplfg, "(indeed :D)"
Phaust tells rplfg, "Probablys because most didn't cares."
"Unless you did. In which case you are probably the perp who nabbed her. And you should feel bad and sit in a corner and think about what you did."
Pennae tells rplfg, "ahhh"
"Probably not too long, as I am sure it wsn't wholesome family fun."
"Unless it was, and then never mind."
Lythil tells rplfg, "But don't cut her hair and make it into a wig for your pet?"
Basell tells rplfg, "That's disgusting!"
"Look! There she is! Not missing!"
Lythil tells rplfg, "the pet won't mind that much"
Basell tells rplfg, "My hair is far too exquisite to go on any sort of 'pet'."
"Yay found people!"
Lythil tells rplfg, "See not hard to find Basel. Comment on her hair and puff.. I mean poof. she is here"
"In a lighter bit of news - not the kind that involves fire - a dwarf was found by the Freeport docks passed out."
Halsani tells rplfg, "Too much ale while fishing, I reckon."
"After being dragged in for questioning, it was found he was in severe violation of Freeport law and "celebrating Brew Day." The Knights would like you all to remember that there is not a god called Brell, and there is no festival called Brew Day. Anyone found celebrating within city walls will spend a night or more in the brig. "
Tyoril tells rplfg, "You know, for all these "severe dragon attacks", there's an awful lot of celebrations lately"
Ssaerasha tells rplfg, "Sacrilege! And I'm not even a dwarf."
"And possibly be misplaced on the way out. Possibly to feed the dragons.After all, they won’t stay where there isn’t food. And let's face it, they aren't trying all that hard. I mean, Silverwing would have gotten in the barrier by now."
Maevun tells rplfg, "don't play hopscotch with a Unicorn. While a unicorn only has one horn, one slip and you'll only have one of something else too."
Sylvree tells rplfg, "With how raids are tonight, Ssae.. we're best off RPing as Corpses~"
Ceayla tells rplfg, "I thought dragons only ate... nevermind... good luck finding one of those to feed a dragon..."
Ssaerasha tells rplfg, "No kidding...."
Lythil tells rplfg, "in Freeport! I think not"
"For those seeking to find out more on the dragon attacks, please stand just outside the city wearing ketchup and mayonnaise, as dragons cannot abide mustard."
"And a bit of bread would not be remiss. And some soup, perhaps with a spoon."
Kinra tells rplfg, "Don't forget the pinch of sage!"
Rayasel tells rplfg, "what about croutons?"
"I think I'm hungry now… Hmm.... boil giant spider leg… There are some just out in the Commonlands..."
"Dragons! Big ones! And they are flapping a lot!"
"Which leads us to the weather!"
"Huge storms in the Feerrott! Dragons flapping in two continents make these huge storms! And see… Chaos. And weather. It's a thing."
"It sounded good on paper… And it sounds just plain crazy now. So."
Eridin tells rplfg, "Next thing, we'll be blaming global warming on Dragon fire."
"No no. That is dragon gas. Dragon fire is why the crops aren't getting water."
Rayasel tells rplfg, "lol"
Ceayla tells rplfg, "which is caused by them eating non virgins?"
Eridin tells rplfg, "ROFL"
Rayasel tells rplfg, "hahaa"
Eridin tells rplfg, "Right..virgins are gas free.. hence the preference.. glad thats sorted"
"It's awful, but I just can't find a virgin."
Ceayla tells rplfg, "Not in Norrath..."
"And when I think I got one… Well… Best left to speculation, there."
"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News: dragon gas edition."