Greetings my fellow Norrathians. I am Archbishop Marconis Fiac, and I welcome you to the Nearly Midnight News.
Please excuse my presumption, however your normal host has succumbed to the festivities of Erollisi. We are hoping for a full recovery.
In our first story, Qeynos for Qeynosians held their annual meeting in New Halas again. On the agenda, considering permitting Windstalker into the list of cities not to grumble about.
Attendees of previous meetings will note every established settlement is on the "to grumble" list except for New Halas and Qeynos, which is the only city the group can afford rent prices in to host their meetings.
In other news, Maj'Dul reports no murders this week. In an effort to make up for the oversight of the citizens, the sultanate is hosting a meeting.
Food that is expected to be served includes blowfish and unusually vivid fruit punch.
Anashti Sul would like you to take a moment to recall all She has done for you. Let your mind be at ease, and let it open to new thoughts. Remember, Anashti cares.
There is usually a report on sports, but they are pointless drivel, and I know all Norrathians join me in detesting them as a rule, save for those which honor Erollisi's purviews.
The Erollisi sect in Qeynos is helping citizens plant trees this winter. While it promotes good works, the main thrust of this arboreal mission seems to be the acquisition of coarse jokes and bawdy humor.
Contact your local temple today. Help erect more trees.
On this day in history, a barkeep in Kelethin was stiffed, which lead to a series of events that culminated in the War of the Fay.
It would go on to be the bloodiest war since the one right before it, which had been the bloodiest at the time it happened.
While the establishment's name is lost to history, the barkeeper was reported to have said, "Oh Tunare. I'm so sorry. I should have let the five silver go."
The D'Morte family would like to thank everyone who participated in this year's Amateur Axe Juggling Competition.
This year saw a third more blood spilled. The AAJC is the only competition to measure blood loss.
This Nearly Midnight News is brought to you by the Temple of Erollisi. Come as you are.
Thank you for joining me for another refined casting of the Nearly Midnight News.