Nearly Midnight News, October 4

*gathers a few notes and pushes a large stack of papers off a large acorn desk*
"Well, this is a little messy. I hope there is nothing important in that. might get a wizard to incinerate it later..."

Arquenniel tells RPLFG, "YAY!"

*strikes a match and drops it on the old paperwork*
“Nah. too much time. Welcome to another edition of Nearly Midnight News, Uncut!"

“In the news this week is things of a Legendary and Fabled nature! But not too legendary or fabled, because then you would have already heard about it. As many of you now know, I can once again file my nails with the souls of my enemies, which was impossible before because Reasons. Which are slightly dissimilar from Reisens, which are mostly just tasty. Reisens? Riesens? Those little chocolate covered things that stick to your teeth."

"Also, new Heroic Characters who are probably delusional psychopaths! Get one word from a raving lunatic and go butcher a dragon! While it might be reasonable to assume that someone, somewhere might be chosen, the recent influx of these rather... special... new adventurers has the exchange economy flabbergasted.”

“The Dark Bargainers said in a statement, "Vith, they are rich, but can't spend a copper! How am I supposed to stay in business!?" He was promptly mugged by a vampire, who is totally *not* permitted to mug whomever they please by order of Cristanos. There is other news for Neriak, but I think I burned it..."
*watches the pile of papers*
“Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was something about an arasai. Regrettably, it must not have been important. And if it was a Human Interest story, well, humans are dull anyways, so moving on."

Orochizak tells RPLFG, "Arasai are rarely important."
Kalmaraa tells RPLFG, "Psychopath eh?"

"A new arrest has been made by the Knights of Freeport recently! Admittedly, this is convenient to the upcoming Festival of Discord, and A Coincidence I'm Sure. Faolayn has been apprehended for… Misconduct and Drunk In Public Displays Of Affection. Or soul harvesting. It's not entirely clear."

"Words from the Lady Commander were brief. One might almost say non-existent. The incident in question only goes to prove a point. Strength in Unity, probably. It usually is, after all."

Arquenniel tells RPLFG, "Unity in Lucan!"
Kalmaraa tells RPLFG, "Here i thought the words where, "I need another rum to deal with all this....""

"There will probably be a public execution on or about the Festival of Discord. I would expect there to be a public trial about seconds beforehand. And justice will be Served. By served, we leave it open to your imagination."

Missymee tells RPLFG, "Always a lovely sight."

"Let's see let's see… Ah yes, on a lighter note, there is a profusion of dwarves recently! I will remind everyone that dwarves are shorter than most elves and humans and iksar and kerran and sarnak, putting that a good knee-capping level. Please do not feed the dwarves. Though buying them a drink is probably for your good health. Buying the Lady Commander a drink might also be for your good health."

Malindres tells RPLFG, "Does this mean we have to buy one for you?"

"It would not be turned down."

Orochizak tells RPLFG, "What if I put poison in this proposed drink, that I buy for this ah, commander softskin?"

“Poisoning the Lady Commander has already been tried, and is not wise to reattempt (without supervision)"

"Draconic-speakers are on the rise after a new initiative prompted by the Combine Empire, who seems to delight in mass slaughters of dragons. For those wishing to take up Draconic, be advised that good shoes and decoder rings are necessary. See your local Sage of Ages today for details."

"For those interested in participating in the Maj'Dul Headless volleyball league, please be advised that all applicants must be able to say at least three words. The freshness of the head is a must for a fair game. Undead heads are disqualified for un-natural gore. For all other Maj'Dul volleyball questions, why the hell are you asking? they are nuts!"

"It snowed in Velious for the third week running. Yep. Still news, somehow. I think the meteorologist out there is either lazy or bored, because I have heard that it at least hails once a month."

"In lighter news today, Qho Augren has gone missing! For those seeking him, please check under many rocks, a fallen forest, and in Kithikor. All those who successfully find him, I am sure there is someone willing to pay for him to be put back. His sister, in fact, is offering a several-platinum reward never to hear his name again. Why an -year old has that much, I do not know, but I think a little shake-down might be in order later."

"Freeport announces the closure of the stock market today after no one was able to figure out what a stock was, and certainly not where to buy one. Anyone wishing to solve this problem is advised to talk to a Gigglegibber today, preferably with at least 10 silver on them."

"The Nearly Midnight News Staff would like to thank the following people for their help in cleaning a recent paperwork backlog: Matchstick. Without you, Matchstick, we would have real work."

"Thank you. I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been the Nearly Midnight News."

Ages and Eras

Age of Shattered Lands

Earth date: 

11/8/2004

Estimated Norrath dates:

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4211

to

Busheldown in the Year of the Rathe, 4215

The adventure in Everquest 2 Begins, 500 years after the Shattering of 3711, and the great Rending of the 3600s, more or less. Records have been destroyed along with continents, and Norrath is still reeeling from the cataclysmic effects of the explosion of Luclin and the retreat of the gods. The seas are just beginning to be navigable - but at great peril!

---

Bloodline Era

Earth date: 

3/21/2005

Estimated Norrath date:

Deadening of Xegony, 4212

In the Age of the Shattered Lands, an ancient secret was uncovered in the treacherous northern crags of Nektulos...

---

Splitpaw Era

Earth date: 

6/28/2005

Estimated Norrath date:

Deadening of Fenin Ro, 4213

In the Age of the Shattered lands, the savage gnolls of the Steppes grow bold, abducting unwary travellers in broad daylight and within reach of the trade roads. Left unchecked, chaos may retake all that has been won from that crater-pocked land...

---

Age of Flame

Earth date: 

9/13/2005

Estimated Norrath dates:

Lastleaf in the Year of the Rathe, 4215

to

Scorchedsky in the Year of Xegony, 4217

"Even the boldest sailor cannot hope to return from the uncharted, drake-infested seas - but far beyond any reliable map lies a vast desert, rich in ancient magic. It was once thought lost, or mere legend, but dark-skinned strangers too beautiful to be human and too bold to be elves, have begun to appear in the rival cities. They bring with them an enchanted carpet, a magic unknown to Concordium or Academy, and lure heros to ride with them to gold and glory - and the preservation of their people from the tyranny of the powerful..."

---

Age of Sky

Earth date: 

2/21/2006

Estimated Norrath dates:

Warmstill in the Year of Xegony, 4217

to

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4220

War has erupted between the greatest powers of the civilized world: Qeynos and Freeport have cast aside the centuries-old uneasy truce, recruiting vast armies and prestigious mercenaries to wrest power from their ancient rival. In the shadow of this savegery, a rogue band of scholars has begun rebuilding the ruined arcane spires...

---

Dynastic Era

Earth date: 

6/14/2006

Estimated Norrath date:

Lastleaf of Fenin Ro, 4218

The Far Seas Trading Company has made a profitable discovery: the exotic island of Mara, unknown even in legend. The people have an ethereal - almost elven - beauty, cultivate highly refined arts, a unique martial discipline unmatched in the world... and a deep mistrust of outsiders. 

---

Age of Faydwer

Earth date: 

11/14/2006

Estimated Norrath dates:

Oceansfull in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4220

to

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4224

The mists that have guarded the northeastern seas have begun to lift, and the drakes that have guarded the mists have been thinned. The first ships have begun to land in the lost homeland of Fay and Elf, but centuries have passed and the land has changed, birthing new dangers among the bones of the old-! The City of Kelethin has survived, hidden deep in the forests, but in Faydwer, the Great Wars never ended...

---

New Nerian Era

Earth date:

5/23/2007

Estimated Norrath Date:

Warmstill of Fenin Ro, 4222

The Lost City of the dark elves has opened its outer gates... or has it?

---

Age of Kunark

Earth date: 

11/13/2007

Estimated Norrath dates:

Oceansfull in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4224

to

Oceansfull in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4228

Discovery knows no frontier it will not face: across the open seas which have swallowed so many hapless explorers, a few brave souls have gone beyond the map - and returned to tell of it! They say it is the birthplace of dragons, this enormous, wild new land, with a thriving city built around an active volcano. Dare you board ship for it?

---

Age of Shadow

Earth date: 

11/18/2008

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Scorchedsky in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4228

to

Oceansfull in the Year of Xegony, 4233

Gnomeric stubbornness knows no restraint: The airship which crashed into the sands so long ago has been rebuilt! The walls of storm and reef which turn back or destroy any mundane ship are as nothing to the resurrected Skystrider... but the land of Ykesha and its creatures have been changed and warped by the incursion of a dreadfully familiar kind of darkness...

---

Age of Sentinels

Earth date: 

2/16/2010

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Scorchedsky in the Year of Xegony, 4233

to

Scorchedsky in the Year of Xegony, 4237

The unceasing efforts of scholar-mages have expanded the reach of the great spires, and rediscoverd the fabled land of Odus. Wrenched from its roots and tangled with a deep and wild magic, the fate of Norrath itself is now bound with Odus, for the Overlord has vanished and the City of Freeport is at war with itself as the Barons vie for Power...

---

Age of Velious

Earth date:

2/22/2011

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Warmstill in the Year of Xegony, 4237

to

Weeping in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4240

The twin Swords of Destiny, Soulfire and the Qeynos Claymore, have been drained of their powers. A new island has been discovered among the iceflows of the Frostfang sea, cradling a shrine built by a mourning god. Pilgrims of the Marr twins are setting out from every city to settle the harsh yet beautiful island, and win glory from its shores. The prophecy known as Age's End begins to unfold in the legendary continent of Velious, at the very edge of the world, and it is here where the war for Norrath will arise. For there to be any chance to save Norrath, the Swords of Destiny must be restored...

---

Age of Discovery

Earth date: 

11/7/2011

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4240

to

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4244

From the frozen Thurgadin docks in far velious, bold explorers have found treacherous new lands beyond world's end. The tracks of divine wars are still fresh here, and dragons rule with wild magic. It is here that the New Combine Empire will be reborn, a glorious alliance of all races and faiths for the preservation of Norrath - if they can ever get anything done...

---

Rebuilding of Freeport

Earth date: 

12/6/2011

Estimated Norrath date:

Busheldown of Triumvirate, 4220

The Overlord has returned to Freeport, and the Citadel has been rebuilt! With might and grace, the Overlord has ordered the rebuilding of his city in a new and more glorious image, sweeping away the squalor and filth which had been breeding at the edges of his City, uniting the Citizens in Strength as the most powerful faction in the New Combine...

---

Rebuilding of Qeynos

Earth date: 

7/24/2012

Estimated Norrath date:

Stargazing of Rathe, 4223

The Queen has returned to her place, welcomed by her beloved people... but the Council of Ten that ruled in her absence is loathe to reliquish their power. The Queen has ordered the City rebuilt, and the overcrowded outlying precincts demolished for new and better buildings - but the Restoration hasn't quite gone as planned...

---

Age of Ethernere

Earth date: 

11/13/2012

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Oceansfull in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4244

to

Blossoming in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4248

Magic is acting strangely, and birthrates are falling. Mystics and Mages suspect souls are not returning from Ethernere as they ought to... Many are questioning the widom of chronomagic and necromancy as the drain is felt across the world - but without such arts no hero could hope save the mortals of their world, or right the imbalance in Ethernere itself. They may yet find the answer lies not in fortunes and portents, but deep in Norrath's past.

---

Age of Veeshan

Earth date: 

11/12/2013

Estimated Norrath Dates:

Oceansfull in the Year of the Triumvirate, 4248

to

???

After rediscovering Yelinak, now the steward of Vesspyr Isles alongside other fallen and familiar dragons, heros learn of the time/space powers behind the Tear of Veeshan stolen by prismatic dragon Kerafyrm the Awakened. With Kerafyrm's fearsome power looming over Norrath, heros are called upon to shine light into the darkness brought on by the Awakened's draconic army, and set the stage for a new Age to begin!

Nearly Midnight News, September 27

*shakes off some bits of fairy*
“You find one arasai who has genocidal thoughts, and soon you are covered in bug-bits… Ick. Is that a wing stuck on my cheek? Horrid."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "o.o" 
Cherlynx tells rplfg, "Oh my. You need a baff. Baaath. Thorry."

*pulls up a chair at the big dusty acorn desk* 
 “Anyways, onward! Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News, colloquially known as NMN II: Extended - now with Streaking Client!”
*releases a nekkid troll into the channel*
"In tonight's news, we have... ahh... umm… Stuff in Thurgadin! Cool stuff! But it involves dwarves, so no one really cares."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "*is snatched by the troll, taken into an alley. Moaning quickly ensues*" 
Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "Traffic is backed up at a tavern in Thurg as they invented a new kind of ale, and there passout out over each other for it."

"In Skyshrine today, everyone was wondering: "Why is it called Skyshrine? I don't worship anything here!" And the brief answer to that is, and I quote, "Because we said so". That is, they would, but a profusion of adventurers killed everything. This includes the quest givers, who were killed out of frustration for the monsters and stuff being dead from previous groups."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "In other news, Zeldrena started a serious debate on why men think women belong in the kitchen or laundry room!" 
Drakkarious tells rplfg, "*leans his chin on his fist* "

"It has come to our attention that women might belong in the kitchen. This comes after surprising evidence of feeling the need to feast upon the innards of their oppressors. This is news, though not entirely surprising.” “Please disregard the way the sausage is made. I am sure the gnomes meant well.”

“In other news, the Maj'Dul Beach Volleyball tournament has been delayed due to a lack of enough regulation equipment. If you happen to have a head you are willing to donate, please see the nearest Sha'Ir. We are told the process is quick and painless. “For further developments in the desert, please see someone who is crazy.”

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "In even more news, Sharisnarr recently took an Iksar concubine!" Aslanna tells rplfg, "Grats Sharissnarr!" Zeldrena tells rplfg, "*simply likes spreading gossip :*"

“Hade...Drinal has issued a statement regarding the kidnapped Firiona. He states thus: "I wasn't there at the time. I would like to see proof of your accusation. What flower? That's a bloody tulip! I'm death! It's a thing! Adventurers have lined up to deal with the problem in the normal way. The death toll is staggering. Anyone wishing to participate is instructed to transfer money to a swiss bank account under the named Ess Oh Ee."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "Drinal also stated thus "She was my secret lover. We've never been truly apart until now!"" 
Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "makes me wonder if you seen Cobalt Scar yet...heh."

"In weather tonight, there is snow in Velious....didn't we report this last week? Stupid vithing... Please excuse us while we fire the copy editor...
 *pulls out a knife and throws it randomly away - there are a few noises, mostly liquid sounding*

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "*The copy editor comes back to life as a zombie and attacks Folodu*"

“So - real weather! A freak storm has caused it to rain frogs in Qeynos! The local froglok population is not amused, though some of the more swank eateries are quite gleeful. For anyone wishing to participate in...clean up.... please buy a local fishing license from your local guard. "His name is Big Tom, and he is quite unhappy if you don't."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "*watches some frogs rain down on Folodu*"

"A huge norrathquake occurred today - in the middle of a yha-lei encampment. No one has any further news, but there are some highly entertained Teir'Dal nearby. One might think this was perhaps not a coincidence."

Zeldrena tells rplfg, "Good night Norrath! I'll be back in a little while! This little kerra girl stayed up past her bedtime!"

"The Nearly Midnight News is now going green! To help with this effort, please hand over all items that might be valuable. For those wishing for better content or service, please donate an amount equal to...what is a USD? Umm....fifteen or sixteen of those. Expanded content includes In-Jokes, Privilege, and less harassment by this kid named Qho."

"This has been the Nearly Midnight News. I am Folodu Amrunrosse, for some ungodly reason your host."

Nearly Midnight News, September 21

...*walks up to a large acorn desk*
“This is dusty as anything could be... that's not quite right. And these loose papers! I thought I gave specific instructions for this to be cleaned..."

Cyphaer tells rplfg, "!!!!" 
 Kissari tells rplfg, "*goes all feir'dall happy mode and tosses those papers all over while jumping about giggling* La-la-la-laaaa-la."

*pulls up a chair and sneezes*
“Well, the show must go on. Er... well... the news. You get what I mean. Welcome to the Nearly Midnight News, Truncated and Late Edition."

Cyphaer tells rplfg, "YAY!"

"New in tonight, Othmirs attack! Word from Velious is that the Othmirhave been going around and biting the faces off of - gasp- cabbages and root vegititables and the random adventurer! These once-cute critters are now the bane of the Dain, going so far as to raid the gardens of the dwarves and gnawing an ankle that might get in the way."

Vinjarick tells rplfg, "diabolical"

"Word from Thorin Drunk'Dain is that the food stores have been running dry, and they always wondered about those "shifty, beady-eyed watercats". While no one from the Othmir camps has been willing to speak on this matter, our reporter in the field, me, has been attacked as well! These soft, luscious-furred creatures glomp and hug and tackle and assault you with adorable."

Celennia tells rplfg, "wait..the nearly midnight news is back????? yay~" 
Ombline tells rplfg, "As long as mine keeps up with his (her? I can't tell) research, I don't care what the othmir does in zer spare time."

"Much nicer than those stupid hua-mein bear-things… Anyways, There is not any indication of if this is true, save for one little othmir caught in an orc camp. And if you could ever be so kind, could you please release him...?

“The orcs, of course, say he is a dangerous and wild critter who took out the last chief Ry'Gorr. With the assistance, of course, of an unknown reporter. The accomplice is still at large, and no reward is being offered. The orcs seem to consider "good riddance" in this case is well founded."

"Elsewhere, Had... Drinal has captured Perse... Firiona. While the surprising turn of events has caused much stir, historians are trying to figure out if this has ever happened before. The answer? No.”

“For an expert opinion, we made one up: "Oh, the horror! Our little Firiona has gone missing! Try the next castle..." Anyone who has any information is requested to present it to the Lord of Death, and to expect Quite A Reward. We were unaware of any ominous intent."

"It is also noted that a new sign has been posted."No Trespassin: Violators will be shot in the knee." So of course someone investigated. More to come when we see them next."

"In the high city of Paineel, there are experiments regarding necromancy. Qeynos objects. This is hardly news at all."

“The gnomes caught in Ykesha tonight report higher than average rainfall. There are also reports of higher-than-average drinking, as the engine cleaner seems to be alcoholic. For those on the lower island, wear a hat."

Ariahdnia tells rplfg, "**snerk**"

"Deep in Klak'Anon, the clockworks are trying to create sentience. As they are copying the gnomes, we expect impressively explosive results. That they are already sentient seems to mean little. I suppose this means that a Clockwork Sutra needs written so that they have some basis of understanding. "Insert Tab A into Slot B for a good time...” That's terrible...who comes up with this stuff? I need to fire someone, I just know it. ...Oh...right..."

"The Maj'Dul volleyball league starts back up again this week. The new regulation ball is a head weighing no less than three stone. Any willing participants are to be weighed at their leisure in the market. While some might find this a bit gruesome, it has weeded out those players who are not serious about the game. These are to be considered the first volunteers. Maj'Dul, it's a hell of a town."

"The weather in Frostfang reports snow. Really. Just snow. Nothing special about it. Why do we even both sometimes. We try to put on a quality program and you just get… “Snow."

"In other news, a new organized crime syndicate has risen across Norrath. Calling themselves Krono, they squeeze the citizens dry to get "that certain something" that seems to have known psychological effects of dependency and irrational desire. Some call this a "protection plan" while others call it "the best thing since Paid Subs". Not being much into the BDSM community, we are not sure what this means."

"That is your Nearly Midnight News. I'm Folodu, and this is irreverent."

The Noble Craftsman: or, How To Be A Great Cobbler

Transcribed by Folodu Amrunrosse

One must first take pride in their work, whatever it may be. Only from that can you be among the great artisans. You also need to be able to meet the needs and desires of your clients. You must use only the highest quality items in your work. You must use the finest detail you can manage. You must be discrete - never outright admit to working with someone. 

With pride comes a need for excellence. Own your skills to the extent they exist and don't you ever claim to know how to do a thing you do not. It hurts the relationship you have with your client and will not recommend you to them for future work. 

Each client is different. If you know how to make a good shoes but aren't so great at thigh-high boots, then see if the client is alright with something a little different. If not, own up that you aren't the best and try anyways. A good attempt goes a long way. 

If you are willing to skimp on the quality of your material, where else are you going to cut corners? You are making the last pair of shoes, so spend that little extra on good sand and binder. Let your client know they have only the best around their feet. 

Some people aren't picky and are willing to go with standard clogs. Never permit that. Even if you are being paid something ridiculous, make sure you take the time to smooth your surfaces. Even when you are making a mold for a particularly intricate boot, make sure you hand touch the last details. It's the small things that matter most here, so working around limitations will be your hardest challenge. Be willing to alter a casting for fractures and swells.

Remember, you want your client to know they have only the best on them. Be sure to remind them often on your skill. Even as they say hello to the fishes, they should be aware of the remarkable job you done for them. It makes them feel special for that brief, important moment.

A short note: addressed from Freeport.

I always stand strong with you. Please call on me when ever you have need.

-Xeita

To all Amicae - current and past -

OOC / Real Life update

Dear Friends -

     As you have no doubt noticed, I've been out of game for months, and my partner, Sytan/Folodu with me. Some of you may be aware that I have had recurring computer and health complications.

     My health has prevented me from returning to you as I have wished, and for that, I am sorry. I had hoped that the Vigiles would stand strong without me. I tried to leave what word I could, but without mail acess I could only hope to reach those of you who were online in the brief moments i could manage to sit in a chair.

     The laptop that enabled me to be with you all last year died sometime in July. I tried to stay, rearranging a tower so I could reach it from a couch, an armchair, something that would accommodate my back.

     I failed, and it has hurt all of us.

     Now, I am returned, on another laptop, borrowed from a new housemate who has more computers than he can use. At least for a time, and for as long as I can manage, I will be here again. Because of Holly Windstalker's generosity, I can write to you {briefly in game, during a promotional event} to tell you this.

     I miss you all - Please, rejoin us in the VAooc channel, on this blog, or write us a note if you are able.


     Be well in these uncertain and trying times -