Nearly Midnight News, November 1

Arquenniel tells rplfg, "Do you have a character you are about to delete because you just don't want it anymore? A character slot that is empty and you want to have some fun? Well, we have the solution for you!!"
Arquenniel tells rplfg, "Knights of Freeport will gladly execute your character with a customized crime list you get to help create. Be a part of opening day fun at Festival of Discord!"
Arquenniel tells rplfg, "Let your character's head roll around the ground after KoF's executioner lops it off. Contact Arquenniel if you are interested. Yes this is a serious request for volunteers!"

"I dunno. Spurs on moments? I prefer spurs on boots. Speaking of spurs... *shies away from Arq*"

Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "Well I was thinking of going after some new trophies... maybe Munzok, Ykesha or even Zarrakon..."

*walks up to a large acorn desk that seems to have detritus and candy on it*"

"Wha...? Did I miss something? And why is there a zombie in the corner... Oh...I'm finally being replaced, aren't I. By some undead mindless little thing... I'm sure it has popularity ratings... But it fails to have the Nearly Midnight News. Of which, welcome! I am your hostess. Or Anchor."

Arquenniel tells rplfg, "YAY!!!!"

"But not butler. Butlers are ebil. In today's news, we have zombies!"

Corovar tells rplfg, "Braaaaaainsss."

"Some a hungry, some are scary, some stand silently in the corner, possibly crying to itself and it's ugliness... And all of them have an apetite for dragonfruit! Or...something like that. I don't really know. It drew this misshapen blob after a spat of interpretive dance. Maybe it's the picture formerly known as dragonfruit?"

"Anyways! Zombies! Like that one! *points at Corovar* Have shown up all around Norrath - surprise surprise - in an effort to take the gold mine hidden under the swamp hut..."

Corovar tells rplfg, "-grins-"

"This sounds like a bad and campy plot, and I suspect Old Man Dave... A delegation was sent to a group out among the living tombs as they seem to still be able to speak. Said an adherent of the banished goddess Anashti'Sul, "We don't know nothing about them low-class zombs. We is respectable zombs!""

Corovar tells rplfg, "I'll have you know we can be very good Hosts in our own right. When we aren't hungry."
Alteru tells rplfg, "*curls in the corner in the fetal position* Everyone's undead except for me O_O"
Narrel tells rplfg, "Speak for yourself!"

"The NMN staff then had to fight them off, as they had developed a sudden hair fixation."

"While in the desert, we stopped by Maj'Dul to check in on the defunct Volleyball league and found more zombies! They stood around silently, hardly moving... what could they want? What could they be after? Someone else can find out, because it was creepy."

"Breaking news in Qeynos tonight. Lead poisoning cases have risen dramatically. The Temple of Life has little to say on the subject."

"As an aside, the re-sealing of the aquaduct system has gone swimmingly. With the application of a low-melting-temperature metal, the aquaduct can serve the city for at least another century unhindered. For those experiencing cases of lead poisoning, please drink more water and brush twice yearly."

Corovar tells rplfg, "-facepalm- fools... and -this- is why Anashti was a better Prime Healer."

"A new development from a group calling themselves the Dervs...or something like that. Sokokar with teeth! and spikes! and a sickly purple color! This new breed of diseased creature has found it's way here from locations unknown."

Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "Blessed Sokokar "
Lera tells rplfg, "They're cute!"

Alteru tells rplfg, "*looks* That is definately the opposite of "cute"..."

"Yes, those. Ick. If I want disease, I'll go visit Rodcet. The breed of sokokar has been seen sporadically, and you might be able to get one in exchange for your time and efforts in a land known as "beta". Little is known of this realm, and it may kill you."

Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "I think you would want Berttoxxius"
Raclette tells rplfg, "Dervs -- not to be confused with Pervs..."
Sharisnarr tells rplfg, "Sure there not Derps?"

"The following is a public service announcement: If you seem to have an excess of cranial matter, please see Doctor Gnaw'B'Rains in the loping plains. Please mind the claws."

"The Freeport Unseen Zoological Preserve lost three dragons today after one went berserk during feeding. For anyone with information on where to find them, please get twenty-four of your friends and take care of the problem."
"There is no reward."

"Well. There is a job well done. There is also steak well done, and I can tell you which I prefer."

Raclette tells rplfg, "And then there are rare spawns and rare prawns..."

"The Festival of Discord starts this coming Sunday. I hear tell that the Knights are wishing a volunteer. I imagine these are similar to the Maj'Dul Volleyball League's volunteers. Please fill out your will before applying. Note - halflings, gnomes, and Tongas need not apply. Size requirements for this event are as such: Tall enough to be visible. The festival will run for a week, unless it holds true to it's name and discords it's way into the rest of the month."

"Let's see..."
"Snow in Thurgadin...eruptions in Lavastorm..."
"Oh! The Enchanted Lands is currently low on Jumjum. For those wishing to price gouge, get in line. The weather changes caused by the realm of the dead becoming thin lately has lead to the crop withering on the vines."
"This might make local halflings intolerable. Unless they were already intolerable, in which case nevermind."

"There was something about gnolls and crossbreeding, but the notes are now thoroughly chewed upon."

"Which wraps up our news for the evening. I am your anchor-ette Folodu Amrunrosse, and the zombie is still standing silently right behind me."