The Vigiles Amicae is a roleplaying guild in Everquest 2, on the Freeport and Antonia Bayle Servers.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

To Worship Bristlebane - An Authoritative Guide part 2


    The goblin tribes have long been a bane to our cause, many times interfering, or worse - copying (in poor approximation), with our Great Prank. However, there has been some occasions to note in which they have managed to get things quite right.
    The aforementioned anecdote is not to be construed as a consistent truth, nor an exception to prove anything, much less a rule. The following tale is mostly true, provided we were drunk through half of it and our recollection is not necessarily accurate to all details.
    One fine week when the weather was particularly fair, the Gigglegibber Goblin tribe decided they were going to prank the notorious Misty Isle Mister - a halfling of some repute among certain circles. They began with something relatively harmless pie-making, supposedly in response to a Gifted Ginger Pie. These claims are false misinformations and hear-say based on no facts in reality and should be studiously ignored.
    However, the pie they attempted to prank with was quite atrocious: mud and wasp guts burned over an open fire. The Mister was, dare I say, unimpressed. We concocted the plan to return the pie, which the Gigglegibber ate greedily. It was revolting.
    In retaliation to this failed prank, the Mister developed a scheme to weasel some the the gambing goblin’s money away from their horde. We replaced real gold coins with gold-foil wrapped coins. The goblins, unfortunately, did not get it, and took it as a peace offering. The goblins planned and plotted. I returned a week later.
    The goblins planned to trick the local pie-maker out of her pies. They gave me a sack of coins and told me to make the pie-maker leave her stall. She adamantly refused, and so I was sent to gather a trinket from the Loping Plains. When presented with the trinket, she departed to give it to Fizzlethorpe. I took the pie and replaced it with coins.
    The pie shop, I would like to note, was failing and the family starving. This deed saved both shop and proprietor. The goblins could not understand that the non-eatable coins were more valuable than the eatable gold coins. This is so far the only known incident where the goblins have managed to do something right while at the same time Not Getting It and Having No Clue What To Do.
    We passed the Communal, no longer remembering what was in it, and all was good.


    There has been only a single incident where someone wanted to recant their religion and follow a new path. This is not for the faint of heart, and requires enough reserves in the Gigglegibber storehouse to last a half-hour, maybe fifteen minutes tops. The Ultimate Prank must be pulled off at the same time as a heist and a stand-up routine. I warn you now, dear Prankster, that the following might result in death, or worse.
    The Ultimate Prank involves faking one’s own death, having a funeral, and stealing a bottle of whiskey during your own wake. The goblins keep no schedules, and so trying to hold them to using their cave to be closer to their storehouse is nigh-impossible. Doing all of this and holding a stand-up comedy routine requires the Skill of Fizzlethorpe Himself. I would go into detail on how the one ex-pranker managed it all, but it has been considered Anathema to Speak Of It.
    For safety, you should now burn this book. All copies and notes must, of course, be stored away from fire, unless you are in need of fuel for winter, in which case have at.

Folodu Amrunrosse

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