"*clears throat* *stage whisper* Is it on? Are we recording?"
Amriel says "/whispers 'You have been on since you came out of the bathroom, now wash your hands!"
"Well, we would...but... This evening's Nearly Midnight News is brought to you from a special location! We are guests until further notice of the Knights! Fine dining and fancy meals must surely come our way - though we had to beg and plead for the equipment to come with us. NMN, good at talking it's way into having large equipment in small spaces."
"In tonight's news, we have several interesting pieces. The first would take us out to Feerott, except for the quarantine currently in place. It seems the malaria outbreak in Ykesha has spread, and now most of the ancient holy temples in the jungle next door are infected as well. The NMN advises a change in travel plans."
"In other news, We would loved to have our newsdesk, but the chance to spend a length of time with the illustrious band of noble men and women guarding Freeport insisted, stating such grand things as, "Any caught spying on the business of Freeport will be handled accordingly as traitors. They will be summarily dealt with." And so, here we are. If anyone gets a good look at our desk, please tell us about it!"
"In others news, the Windstalker cross country team has officially been granted personhood by the Queen Antonia. Asked about their shift in status, they made the following statement, "We are cross country - resistance is futile." The NMN decided that it was a little strange, and so challenged them to a race. We won. Unless someone tells them we are here...which is probably not a good thing to mention."
"In sports news today, the Odus Frisbee team lost their prized disc when high winds caught it near the edges of the landmass. They expect to know exactly where it lands just as soon as they decide with parabolic path it took. Debate is fierce several hours later, and looks like it will go til sunrise."
"The Everfrost Ice Skaters shipping union went on strike today, citing low pay, hazardous conditions, and not being allowed to look in the packages they ship. It is unclear if the shipping magnate will clear this up with the dockworkers and ship hands or if it will cut its losses."
"A random survey was done today, wondering how many Norrathians knew the names of both moons. Only about 3 percent did, and 97 percent seemed not to know there were two at all. In a follow up survey, the researchers plan on asking how many fingers griffons have. Lead sociologist Fizzlethorpe suspects there will be interesting results."
"In a random crime spree today, two children under the age of thirty were seen stealing candy from two stalls. When questioned, both claimed it was freely given. The NMN has taken it upon itself to file reports."
"In a survey of Prisoners in Freeport reveals that most are quite happy with where they are right now, especially when the guards are present. We expect Lucan might issue longer sentences to accommodate. In a related bit of gossip, guards do not like their prisoners trying to pick the locks. This is frowned upon greatly, and we suspect the assistant with me might need medical attention."
"For those interested in more on this subject, something known as "bail" needs posted, as we are being told that this conversation is at an end - are you sure I can't? -it's just weather..."
"In weather tonight, expect rain, as if small assistants crying from the sky upon you!"
"This is Folodu Amrunrosse, and this is an interrogation!"