Nearly Midnight News July 10

"*pokes about* Will anyone notice if I..."

Obatala says, "Strip and dance?"

Drakkarious says, "I've alerted the Qeynos Guards."

Obatala says, "You heard her folks!  Tickets on sale now!"

Obatala says, "Hurry before the guards arrive!"

"Greetings and welcome to the Nearly Midnight News. Due to a lost wager, tonight we will be broadcasting in front of a live!"
"Studio!"
"Hamster!"
"On a dancepole!"
"With galoshes!"

Oudelia says, "In a gazebo?"

"*watches the hamster on a pole in a gazebo* That is kind of disturbing... I - it's putting on a sombrero... And doing a hat dance combined with a salsa dance and the tango. This hamster is very improbable. Anyways! News!"

"In our top story tonight, we go all the way to Neriak *mutters* the station is trying to get me killed, I just know it *mutter* to receive the news from the hand of the Voice of the page who wrote down this bit! Neriak makes the bold claim that it's Wyrven and Wurm campaign has been a success! Despite the many dragonkind killed, Neriak releases official documentation that they were all hoaxes. "There is no such thing as Wyrvens or Wurms!" the page boldly wrote. We went to ask any adventurer their views on this startling news. So far, there seems to be confusion, and many displays of drake-like body parts. We shall be investigating this further, but every seems completely astounded that Neriak would say anything at all. In the view of one adventurer, "It's all a bunch of hogwash. You actually listen to that after the bit about clockwork arasai?" We were highly miffed, and said Good Day, Sir!"

"Elsewhere around Norrath, the curious Gigglegibbers reveal that they have been evading taxes all this time. Much to no one's surprise, they gave very precise figures on just how much the foreign exchequer has not paid. The number was staggeringly unable to be counted by the never-inept goblin tribe. The request all adventurers to continue staying away from the vault, even though it is very secure."

"In Skyshrine tonight, a tiny speck was spotted flying among the clouds. Investigation proves nothing conclusive, but a highly paranoid gnome suggests a UFO - or possibly detritus. Never quite certain, the gnome opted on blowing something up, which we are pleased to report is not the pen we dislodged from our desk late last eve."

"In another shocking article, it seems the casino rumored to be opening in Qeynos late this month had a bowling lane installed, and Human Darts. This exciting new sport is said to be favored among the Koada. Additional rumors suggest there is a free bar on opening night, though no one has been available for questioning to check the veracity. We did manage to swipe three bottles of rum, however. For those interested, meet at the big Claymore and ask the halfling with tree toes where the Giant Sleeps. He knows what you mean."

"In completely unrelated news, anyone known to be able to fly is advised to stay land-borne, as a plague of locusts is predicted to cover the land late tomorrow night. This does not rate as official weather, though it is expected to cause shade and block out the stars for a time. Anyone unable to see is advised not to open their mouth. Unless they like that sort of thing."

"In sports tonight, the ever-picked-on New Halas teams continue to fail in everythign they do, though all sports have adopted the tutu officially now. Today, they lost the arm wrestling with the Fae of Kelethin, and the Balloon tying against the Ogres of Freeport. If this streak continues, a city-wide liquor ban will be established until morale improves."

"The Loping Plains Hairballs took on the the much renowned Thundermist Farmboys in a heated game of Catch The Selkie. So far, no winner has been determined, and authorities are starting to suspect a point system needs instituted."

"The Nerian Chess team lost to the Gorowyn Beats wrestling team today. It was kind of funny, and we wish we had the ability to show you. One lout reportedly chuckled a checkmate as the final blow was delivered."

In weather, the Commonlands remain impassable as someone lost their glasses and told everyone not to move. Heat stroke set in several hours later, and then it rained. Alternate routes have been cancelled for glee."

"In crime tonight, a random stabbing spree broke out in Longshadow alley. The Arasai Inquisitors pointed fingers at all the Thexians, including one of the changed fae that seemed to have a bloody dagger. There was much chuckling, followed by the sounds of shrieks, we assume of joy and pleasure. The Arasai did not look as friendly as they seemed, and we bowed out of a demonstration."

"In the Sands under Maj'Dul, a fistfight broke out between two orcs. Both are in custody for disturbing the peace, though we aer not entirely certain where."

"The Antonican Footrace Fetish club broke into a fit of giggles when one runner decided to jog, rather than the more acceptable sprint. Ostracism is expected. Asked what was up with that, they broke into another fit and wandered off. It was odd and we think they might need Help. Anyone looking to assist the strange team is expected to show up in something skin-tight and be wearing a good pair of shoes."

"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this has been a strange Nearly Midnight News."

Nearly Midnight News July 8

"Look! Up there! It's a bird! It's a gnome! It's breaking news! because it is certainly coming -here- at very high velocity!"

"Welcome to the Nearly...nearly...umm...Thingy!"

"Near thingy!"

Arquennie says, "Nearly Midnight News!!!!!!!!"

"Whassat? "Never heard of it before in my life."

"On tonight's edition of Nearly Midnight News, we go ALL over! Except that dark place in the savanah. that's the elephant graveyard, and we must never go to that dreadful place! There are things - and hyenas. They sound familiar... Like they might have been from somewhere... But here! We have news! Good news!"

"In a recent discovery, it has been found that pie cures nearly all ailments. Cake decorators contest this, and lift their rolling pins high. Void, the makers of ice cream, wants to test this claim with their product. While the request seems suspicious, we are sure there is a fae or something out there willing to try. Anyone willing to make fifty gold is asked to sign up at their nearest Lucanic Clinic for both their civic duty and for Science!"

"In other news, someone kindly posted bail for us to get us out of the custody of our new friends in the third Cavalry. We are not sure who this anonymous donor was, but we do not suspect our network sponsors. Additionally, we now get to enjoy our new Acorn Anchor desk! We are quite pleased, though we have lost our pen in a seam we did not see. Anyone wishing to do--- our sponsors are telling us the pen thing will be rectified and not to worry."

"In a surprise move today, Lucan voted himself Best Overlord in Norrath! Unbeknownst to everyone else, there was no such previous award, though we are sure the afterparty will be fantastic. Not to be outdone, Queen Bayle has decided to crown herself Beauty Queen. In her daring new outfit, she decided to show ankle! There will be murmurs throughout Qeynos for at least a social season, until some third son gets himself killed in a duel."

"In other news, the Shippers Union has decided to bow to their new overlords with the Everfrost Ice Skaters Coalition and shipments are expected to continue across norrath.If anyone had a late package recently they advise getting over it."

"In sports today, the Gorowyn Finger Wrestling team ousted giant Windstalker for their first championship ever. Elated, the team spoke excitedly for several minutes and decided they were the superior race. In a brief riot afterwards, the Windstalker team took several injuries. This is not being viewed as a hate crime, as they are inferior. The team looks to challenge this by talking to someone in a different venue, such as Neriak."

"Nerian Queen Cristanos lost the remote control to her little arasai today, which brought business to a halt. Asked to comment, the locals had this to report, "happens all the time. She decided whoever is standing closest when it's found is the culprit, and she feeds them to her pet goat." We are skeptical about the goat, but one can never be too careful."

"There are rumors of a casino opening in Qeynos late this month, though with tax law and how tight-laced the officials seem to be, we are not entirely sure how they managed the linscence. We presume there will not be liquor served, and anyone over the height of an average dwarf will be escorted out. Thus far, these are only rumors, and have seen no evidence to the contrary. You can be sure that we will Have Nothing To Do With The Bookie On Staff."

"The trolls of the Feerott banded together today and handed a manifesto over to the invading Thulians. In short, it requests their lands back. The Thulians were not impressed.”

“In a new statement from the Academy in Freeport, Necromantic Arts division, qoute, "Dead girls are easy." We decided to ask further questions, and it turns out all dead are fairly simple to reanimate, though they prefer certain kind. After a few meaningful looks, the NMN staff opted on asking questions Somewhere Else."

"In weather tonight, the wind blows high, and the wind blows low. Donald, where are your trousers? We suspect a halasian fed us a bad weather report of the north for that one."

"In other news, apples, even one a day, will not keep the doctor away if you choke on them. Eat carefully."

"In stocks, feyberries have risen three bushels, beating out jumjum for the preferred fruit berry. Anyone wishing to help either number can go to the Enchanted lands and pick a bushel. Grain shortages in Maj'Dul surprised no one today. This is still newsworthy, though we are still investigating."

"I am Folodu Amrunrosse, and this is the Nearly Midnight News."

Nearly Midnight News July 6

"*clears throat* *stage whisper* Is it on? Are we recording?"

Amriel says "/whispers 'You have been on since you came out of the bathroom, now wash your hands!"

"Well, we would...but... This evening's Nearly Midnight News is brought to you from a special location! We are guests until further notice of the Knights! Fine dining and fancy meals must surely come our way - though we had to beg and plead for the equipment to come with us. NMN, good at talking it's way into having large equipment in small spaces."

"In tonight's news, we have several interesting pieces. The first would take us out to Feerott, except for the quarantine currently in place. It seems the malaria outbreak in Ykesha has spread, and now most of the ancient holy temples in the jungle next door are infected as well. The NMN advises a change in travel plans."

"In other news, We would loved to have our newsdesk, but the chance to spend a length of time with the illustrious band of noble men and women guarding Freeport insisted, stating such grand things as, "Any caught spying on the business of Freeport will be handled accordingly as traitors. They will be summarily dealt with." And so, here we are. If anyone gets a good look at our desk, please tell us about it!"

"In others news, the Windstalker cross country team  has officially been granted personhood by the Queen Antonia. Asked about their shift in status, they made the following statement, "We are cross country - resistance is futile." The NMN decided that it was a little strange, and so challenged them to a race. We won. Unless someone tells them we are here...which is probably not a good thing to mention."

"In sports news today, the Odus Frisbee team lost their prized disc when high winds caught it near the edges of the landmass. They expect to know exactly where it lands just as soon as they decide with parabolic path it took. Debate is fierce several hours later, and looks like it will go til sunrise."

"The Everfrost Ice Skaters shipping union went on strike today, citing low pay, hazardous conditions, and not being allowed to look in the packages they ship. It is unclear if the shipping magnate will clear this up with the dockworkers and ship hands or if it will cut its losses."

"A random survey was done today, wondering how many Norrathians knew the names of both moons. Only about 3 percent did, and 97 percent seemed not to know there were two at all. In a follow up survey, the researchers plan on asking how many fingers griffons have. Lead sociologist Fizzlethorpe suspects there will be interesting results."

"In a random crime spree today, two children under the age of thirty were seen stealing candy from two stalls. When questioned, both claimed it was freely given. The NMN has taken it upon itself to file reports."

"In a survey of Prisoners in Freeport reveals that most are quite happy with where they are right now, especially when the guards are present. We expect Lucan might issue longer sentences to accommodate. In a related bit of gossip, guards do not like their prisoners trying to pick the locks. This is frowned upon greatly, and we suspect the assistant with me might need medical attention."

"For those interested in more on this subject, something known as "bail" needs posted, as we are being told that this conversation is at an end - are you sure I can't? -it's just weather..."

"In weather tonight, expect rain, as if small assistants crying from the sky upon you!"

"This is Folodu Amrunrosse, and this is an interrogation!"

The Knowing of Deities and their Disciples

Archivist's Note:
This is a prime example of the intersection of academic and legalistic historiography in the Era of Destiny. Since the collapse of the Citadel and the resulting years of civil strife as the Barons vied for power in Freeport, the Third Brigade vastly expanded their reach under the War Powers Act of A.S. 2590, and resulted in many studies such as these being produced. The study of such treatises is valuable to the student who seeks a deeper understanding of D'Lerian culture, and is preserved in our archives for its value as a historical record. The Third Brigade holds a position of great strength to this day, and in many cases remains the final adjudicator of treason and blasphemy among the registered citizens. It is advised that the philosophy laid out below be considered when engaging with any adherent thereof.

- - -

This is a study of the deities of Norrath and how their religious sects interact with Lucanic Law and Stricture. This writing is done as culmination of the efforts of trying to understand why one wishes to follow a presence that is not interactive in the way that Lucan interacts with us.

It is discovered that all gods and their worship is anathema to Lucanic Law.

In order of their most commonly known names, a listing of anathema.

Anashti Sul - The Banished one. Unable to stay in good standing with others, therefore Lucan has no need for the weakness of those with no alliances or support. Anashti Sul is anathema for also being now of the Void, where her minions are chaos embodied. Chaos is anti-Lucanic.

Bertoxxulous - The Plaguebringer. If Lucan wishes plague upon his people, he will bring it. Any deity wishing to circumvent Lucan’s will within his walls is anathema. Lucan gives life, and he can take it at any rate he sees fit.

Brell Serilis - Duke of Below. Nearly all underground dwellers claim him as their god, including dwarves and goblins. There is none above the might and grandeur of Lucan, and so holding any god before him is anathema. The races that claim him are chaotic in nature, either outright attacking for the joy of it, or inventing reasons such as “good” or “right” - Lucan finds these distinctions chaotic and irrelevant, and so are anathema.

Bristlebane - The Prankster. Chaos, pure and simple. Chaos goes against the very nature of Lucan’s Law and Order, and so is anathema. Any and all followers trying to claim bringing joy and happiness are undermining Lucan, and so are traitors and vandals.

Cazic-Thule - The Faceless. Bringers of fear. If one follows the Law of Lucan, one need not know Fear. Any caught with fear in them is weak and should be destroyed for the benefit of the city. Fear is anathema.

Erolissi Marr - Queen of Love. There is no greater love than that for our Overlord Lucan. All others distracts from him, and is treasonous. While it is expected that the citizens mingle among themselves, mortal and gods should not. Erolissi is a subtle and spiteful goddess and is anathema for leading Good Citizens astray.

Innoruuk - Prince of Hate. To hate all is to hate Lucan. This is anathema.

Karana - Rain Keeper. Any who try to claim dominion over the skies of Freeport is a heretic and therefore anathema. Lucan permits it to rain or not as he sees fit. That there is a force behind this suits his purpose.

Mithaniel Marr - Truthbringer. There is no truth more pure than that of service to Lucan and his Law. The Marr brother is a known enemy of Freeport and its people, and should be shunned publicly and destroyed privately. It must never be forgotten that it was the followers of Marr that tried to destroy our city, and is therefore anathema.

Quellious - the Tranquil. Followers of peace and curiosity. Lucan will tell us when there is peace, and when we need to know a thing. Seeking before it is granted is anathema.

Rallos Zek - the Warlord. Lucan will also tell us when there is war. To try to claim this power from him is to defy Lucanic Law, and is anathema. While death for the weak is advised, it will be Lucan’s will to determine when and where. We are his to use as he needs us.

Rodcet Nife - Prime Healer. If Lucan demands our life from us, then it is anathema for another to give it back. As seekers to end disease and death, it is anathema to undo what Lucan decides to use us for.

Solusek Ro - Burning Prince. Fire within the city is chaos and destruction embodied. If Lucan should decide to use this tool on his city, then so be it. To try to use it outside of his will is anathema.

Tribunal - Council of Justice. While it might seem the Tribunal might be within Lucanic Law, Lucan will use whatever tool he sees fit, including orders outside of his Law based on the need he knows might be there. Therefore, the Tribunal is anathema.

Tunare - Mother of All. Creator of Koada’dal and Feir’dal. Her servants will always seek to destroy what they cannot understand. Lucanic Law protects us from these cultists who wish to draw the blood from anything that is not of her doing. Lucan built our city, gives us shelter, and guards us from Her agents. She seeks to destroy Freeport, and is anathema.

Ullkorruuk - Lady of Insurrection. While not a deity in the classic sense, her perview is treason. This is, of course, anti-Lucanic.

While dispensations might be given for those who might choose to also have faith in these anathema abstractions, true disciples are traitors or will soon be traitors, and should be treated as such.

Page Luddiicia 

Nearly Midnight News July 5

July 5
"News update! On Tonight's Nearly Midnight News! Gnomish Inventions - great ideas, or deathtraps to kill us all?"
"An exhaustive and thorough opinion of paranoia!"
"Also, Bacon: Myth or Reality. More happening...tomorrow!"
"Alright alright, how about now..."
"*looks around for musterded Knights*"
"Whew!"
Goldenn says "*wonders if they have to catsup?*"
Arquenniel says "/gives orders to ready the canons and spear canons..."

"All clear! Welcome to tonight's Nearly Midnight News! We have several big stories tonight, including Forks! The next utensil of popular opinion! But first, we must take a moment to remember those of us not here - those who are now pantless. Khimyra. She collected on pair she shouldn't have, and is recovering. Everyone please donate a pair from your closet to the NMN. We promise I am totally not trying to get a competing collection."

"In lighter news today, the gnomes of the wastelands of Ykesha have contracted a more virulent form of malaria. When asked about their new discovery, they excitedly told us, "Git back ye gurt fool! It's 'n'th'air now, ye ken!" We promptly had to know more, and get right in the middle of things - our insurance has now cut us from their services. If anyone would like to donate a cleric, we would greatly appreciate it."

"During our trip within the Moors, we discovered our pen was stolen - while better than eaten by goblins, We Are Not Pleased. The return of it, or the donation of a news one would be appreciated. But NOT by the mail system - the NMN is still under ban of use related to donation scams - said one investigator, "They are idiots - why does anyone listen to them?" He had no pen."

"A recent incident with the dirge-singers union and the undertakers consortium has halted all crying and bawling at funerals today. Until this matter is laid to rest, there is a ban on grief. When questions regarding the incident were bandied about, both sides looked dour and a few bright metal flashes were seen. NMN staff vacated the premises hastily."

"In a surprise today, the Fancy was closed for "remodeling", which the NMN believes is code for "hiring new models". While the old staff was quite well appreciated, we eagerly await the new arrivals. In a replacement venue, the Crown was open, and what a swinging night it was! Pole dancing on the counters, drunken brawls, and angry words are just some of the things we are making up! The NMN staff procured an applejuice and eagerly watched it all - at least until applejuice ran out. At such a point, there was much Grief and Angst until a dirge-singer representative showed up and put a stop to all that. After being escorted off the premises for some "getting physical", NMN staffer Folodu was seen to be disposing of evidence in the Bay. There were no witnesses."

"In a strange turn of events, the group that Does Not Exist, the Morag Tong, continues to recruit, though no one knows it. When asking no one about the old members, we were quietly pointed to the spot at the bay we had just vacated. There were hasty "goodbyes" and "have a nice day" all around."

"The Nearly Midnight News must send a thank you out to someone - tomorrow, we are to receive a desk made of pure Acorn word. There was some mention of "nuts" and knowing looks at the prestigious news station. If the giver of such a fine desk would like to claim their due thanks for such a donation, we will happily report something, most likely made up, er.... researched intensively for them."

"In sports tonight, the Nerian Longshots went toe to toe with the Kunark Crushers in a thrilling game of jacks. The Nerians, of course, claimed the giants cheated. No special issue sports equipment was issued for the game. The woeful Tier were later visited by the dirge-singer, and informed their attitude must change immediately by contractual agreement. Always honor-bound, the team saw to it immediately."

"The Karan Swim team was to race the Halasian synchronized swimming team today, but due to yesterday's case of hypothermia, the match was cancelled. No spectators will be issued refunds for the special stadium built for the event. Asked to respond, the owners of the venue were noted to not care very much, and mumbled something about taxes and loans. After an attempt to shake down the NMN, the venue vanished. Djinn are suspected."

"In weather today, storms batter the Loping Plains after a long drought, causing flash flooding and landslides. No one is reported injured at this time, though many are missing. One recent arrival to the city said something beginning with "Mist-" before the others around him silenced the man. Our curiosity was not piqued, and we left."

"In the Thundering Steppes, there was, of course, lightning. No one was surprised, and this is not really an incident worthy of mention."

"This is Folodu Amrunrosse with the Nearly Midnight News - thank you, and stay happy. You are contractually bound to."

Council Summons

~ The dispatch is on crisp, heavy linen paper. It is handwritten in the angular letters of the common trade language, and sealed with red wax. The seal has the sign of three swords over flame. ~

The Praetor and Protector of the Amicae
To the people of the Amicae and the Vigiles among them:

Amicae: In the name of your ancestors and the dead generations of soldiers from which you receive your steadfastness, your writ and traditions, your Praetor summons you to the standard of the Vigiles, the ever-watchful. The drum of war is sounded, and the anvil of liberty rings forth.

Having organized and trained the Vigiles in secret and in the open, to guard all Amicae; having perfected discipline and silence; having awaited resolutely the day our liberties could be shown to the world; now the pattern of time has unfolded an opportunity for glory. Supported by the souls of those who laid down in blood, and those who have chosen to return to the bondage of tyrants for the good of coming generations, but relying first on the strength within our own ranks: in the sacred mystery by which one and one and one together carry more than each alone ever could, we strike in full confidence of victory.

We declare now to the world the right of the Amicae to the unfettered pursuit of their destinies, without regard to the petty circumstances of birth or the avarice of gods and mortals. The abysmal usurpation of that right by any creature makes them our enemy, now and hereafter. In every generation there are those who forget the consequence of attempting such invasion: we must never let them forget that the final victory shall ever be ours.

Let this hereby stand as a declaration of resolve, and a summons to the council of war: the shield and spear of the Amicae be raised! Until by our wisdom and our valor we have reclaimed our Lost, the rule of all Amicae shall be held by the Vigiles arm, under the direction of the Praetor, and held in trust for the people until peace return.

May the woven fate guard us, and may no thread fray in cowardice, selfishness, or sadism. In this path, the Vigiles Amicae must by the nine virtues prove again that we have the right and the worth to claim the destiny to which we are called.

In Strength - we meet under the banner of our bond, Solaceday Eight, in the month of Burningsky.

By my will and hand, Ariahdnia Z'Ress

-- Dispatched from the desk of the Legate Commander-General Brangwin

(( OOC note: there will be an in-character council meeting in the Hall, on July 8th, at 2pm CST ))

Nearly Midnight News July 3

"Welcome to tonight's Nearly Midnight News! Our sponsor tonight provided a cookie! So, in all kindness, we are giving what they paid for! Full Frontal Nudity! I found this troll about five minutes ago... *a troll walks in buck naked and cackling* Yes, we must thank said cookiegiver for their kind donation. I am sure they would like to push a product, but now will never associate with the NMN again!"

"In tonight's news, we have the very Illustrious Witches Union stepping forth with a complaint. They say, and I quote, "It's not fair, to call them sandwiches! Gives all a bad name! Grelda over there with the nose is actually a Hedgewitch, and deals not at all with sand! You must change the name!" When prompted further, there was general confusion and angst over who next would get public attention. In the end, they all turned each other into toads."

"In other news, the cleanup of Qeynos has gone swimmingly after the ill-chosen use of hammocks in place of all beds. It is recommended to test all walls by pushing really hard on them with a golem for stability. In a brief interview, the Crown had this to say, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" We were not very thrilled."

"Afterwards, we met a cat, and decided someone had slipped us something at the last bar we were at. We decided to ride it out with a nice man with a lovely teaset."

"Interesting news from New Halas tonight! All guard dogs are to be replaced by guard cats! In a statement, the local in charge said "there was less sniffing of butts, and cats are far more independent." Research is underway to test this claim, as the NMN is fairly certain cats do not like to guard anything not related to food or sunbeams. In a related article, there has been a severe increase in the amount of people tripping over cats. Everyone is advised to watch their step, but not in a threatening way."

"In Freeport tonight, riots thought about starting, but then the mention of fines and jail came up. A crowd of fifty quickly dispersed in random directions at a fast walk. The NMN was able to track one man down, who pleaded we not say anything. His reasons were simple, "We jus' like ta break things, ya ken?" He is suspected of being in the Hooligan's Guild, a notorious group known for petty theft and vandalism. Rewards for any information are negligible."

"In sports tonight, the Rugby Association of Norrath has decided the tutu too agressive a uniform. Now, all teams will be issued overlarge pink smocks with matching mittens and headbands. This is hoped to end the violent rampages plaguing other sports."

"In a brief interlude, the NMN turns your attention back to the naked troll. Please stare in wonder at his or her elegant muscles, the fine line of pectorals and thighs. And then find better sponsors, or the troll will be a common theme."

“There has been a smattering of weather today, culminating into a personal raincloud over anyone who is feeling moody of down. It is advised to keep your distance, and even shun these people, lest it wears off onto you."

"It is a severe enough condition that even those who are always bright and happy are instantly affected, and turn dower and bitter. There is no saving them. Let them go. It  is for the best...so we are told."

"The NMN staff encountered a surprising interest in the Sands of Ro last night, and a group of rough, rowdy adventurers rabble roused their way through several dangerous places, including taking on a giant crocodile and several others."

Anyone noticing this group gathering again should show caution, as these adventurers were snarling and foaming at the mouth. We suspect dehydration, but we were among them. Clerics cleared us right up."

"Thank you for joining us for another night of the Nearly Midnight News!  am your host Folodu Amrunrosse, and this is a naked troll!"