Archivist's note: This tome is classified "all access" - Amicae and visitors are to be permitted unrestricted access to it at all times.
Welcome.
Be assured that these halls are fortified and warded, and you have come to a safe haven among the Amicae.
The High Council is composed of the Praetor and the Legates. All laws, operations, and oaths will be decided by them in concert, and in accordance with the Writ.
- - -
For visitors:
- Be welcome among us in peace. As a sign of your intent, please disarm yourself at the door.
- Hostile action against any Amicae will activate the wards, and they will strike the transgressor with magical energy. The wards do not differentiate between sober or drunken actions.
The first violation will be an unpleasant strength, the second will excite a more vehement but non-fatal strike.
Should that not be enough, the third strike is designed to incapacitate the threat, and the transgressor will be imprisoned or exiled according to the council judgement.
- The wards are reset on solstice: between those times, they will retain the imprint of any they have struck, and how many times.
- Guests who have sought asylum will be under the direct care of the Legate Commander, who has full authority to deploy force as deemed necessary for the protection of the suppliant. It is advisable that all refugees heed his advice, or risk the loss of the protection they sought.
- - -
For the foederatti (contracted mercenaries and aspirants):
- Your first duty is to your sponsor, and every task they require of you.
- Your second duty is to learn our ways, and as quickly as possible.
- Your third duty is to honor, respect, and guard all Amicae against Tyrants, thugs, spies, vagabonds and other threats.
- Transgressions will result in fines, imprisonment, or exile, as the council judges.
- - -
For all other residents and guardians:
- Your oath to the Amicae superceeds any other bond of king, kin, or creed. Whatever your race or history, you are now Amicae. Not even the dictates of the little gods may be permitted to seed strife within our ranks.
- Respect and Guard the Amicae, and we will respect and protect you. It is understood that in your early days you may misstep, but repeated or gross transgressions will be answered with the full weight of our laws.
- All sworn Amicae are of equal value before the council, whatever their nature, age, or profession.
Marks of Honor within the Amicae denote greater responsibility for the welfare of the Amicae, though there are some privileges which naturally attend that.
- Civilian residents may go to the Tribunes, Vigilus, or Legate Pax for guidance, education, and assistance in their profession or craft.
- Soldiers of the Vigiles should first report to their direct superior and/or mentor as assigned. Scutari report to Equites, who report to the military Vigiles, who report to the Legate Commander.
- Soldiers of the Vigiles should first report to their direct superior and/or mentor as assigned. Scutari report to Equites, who report to the military Vigiles, who report to the Legate Commander.
- Civilian residents are not to interfere with military operations, nor are military operations to interfere with the peaceful prosperity of the residents.
- Civilians may hire their services to the guard for general operations, where they will for the duration of their service answer to their commanding officer as any line soldier.
Diplomatically sensitive or dangerous operations will be exclusive to military personnel.
- Prisoners of war are under the authority of the Legate Commander. Interference with any part of that process will be regarded as a threat to the safety of the Amicae.
- Wounded Amicae, whatever their normal designation, are under the direct authority of the Legate Pax until their Healing is complete, and a return to duty and/or release order is signed by the Praetor.
- It is directly counter to the liberty of Amicae to infringe on the liberty of another sentient being: therefore, the keeping of slaves is prohibited. The interference with and occupation of another mind or body without express consent is regarded by the council as a form of enslavement, and is likewise forbidden.
Showing posts with label Book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Book. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
To Worship Bristlebane - An Authoritative Guide part 2
Competition
The goblin tribes have long been a bane to our cause, many times interfering, or worse - copying (in poor approximation), with our Great Prank. However, there has been some occasions to note in which they have managed to get things quite right.
The aforementioned anecdote is not to be construed as a consistent truth, nor an exception to prove anything, much less a rule. The following tale is mostly true, provided we were drunk through half of it and our recollection is not necessarily accurate to all details.
One fine week when the weather was particularly fair, the Gigglegibber Goblin tribe decided they were going to prank the notorious Misty Isle Mister - a halfling of some repute among certain circles. They began with something relatively harmless pie-making, supposedly in response to a Gifted Ginger Pie. These claims are false misinformations and hear-say based on no facts in reality and should be studiously ignored.
However, the pie they attempted to prank with was quite atrocious: mud and wasp guts burned over an open fire. The Mister was, dare I say, unimpressed. We concocted the plan to return the pie, which the Gigglegibber ate greedily. It was revolting.
In retaliation to this failed prank, the Mister developed a scheme to weasel some the the gambing goblin’s money away from their horde. We replaced real gold coins with gold-foil wrapped coins. The goblins, unfortunately, did not get it, and took it as a peace offering. The goblins planned and plotted. I returned a week later.
The goblins planned to trick the local pie-maker out of her pies. They gave me a sack of coins and told me to make the pie-maker leave her stall. She adamantly refused, and so I was sent to gather a trinket from the Loping Plains. When presented with the trinket, she departed to give it to Fizzlethorpe. I took the pie and replaced it with coins.
The pie shop, I would like to note, was failing and the family starving. This deed saved both shop and proprietor. The goblins could not understand that the non-eatable coins were more valuable than the eatable gold coins. This is so far the only known incident where the goblins have managed to do something right while at the same time Not Getting It and Having No Clue What To Do.
We passed the Communal, no longer remembering what was in it, and all was good.
Renunciation
There has been only a single incident where someone wanted to recant their religion and follow a new path. This is not for the faint of heart, and requires enough reserves in the Gigglegibber storehouse to last a half-hour, maybe fifteen minutes tops. The Ultimate Prank must be pulled off at the same time as a heist and a stand-up routine. I warn you now, dear Prankster, that the following might result in death, or worse.
The Ultimate Prank involves faking one’s own death, having a funeral, and stealing a bottle of whiskey during your own wake. The goblins keep no schedules, and so trying to hold them to using their cave to be closer to their storehouse is nigh-impossible. Doing all of this and holding a stand-up comedy routine requires the Skill of Fizzlethorpe Himself. I would go into detail on how the one ex-pranker managed it all, but it has been considered Anathema to Speak Of It.
For safety, you should now burn this book. All copies and notes must, of course, be stored away from fire, unless you are in need of fuel for winter, in which case have at.
Folodu Amrunrosse
The goblin tribes have long been a bane to our cause, many times interfering, or worse - copying (in poor approximation), with our Great Prank. However, there has been some occasions to note in which they have managed to get things quite right.
The aforementioned anecdote is not to be construed as a consistent truth, nor an exception to prove anything, much less a rule. The following tale is mostly true, provided we were drunk through half of it and our recollection is not necessarily accurate to all details.
One fine week when the weather was particularly fair, the Gigglegibber Goblin tribe decided they were going to prank the notorious Misty Isle Mister - a halfling of some repute among certain circles. They began with something relatively harmless pie-making, supposedly in response to a Gifted Ginger Pie. These claims are false misinformations and hear-say based on no facts in reality and should be studiously ignored.
However, the pie they attempted to prank with was quite atrocious: mud and wasp guts burned over an open fire. The Mister was, dare I say, unimpressed. We concocted the plan to return the pie, which the Gigglegibber ate greedily. It was revolting.
In retaliation to this failed prank, the Mister developed a scheme to weasel some the the gambing goblin’s money away from their horde. We replaced real gold coins with gold-foil wrapped coins. The goblins, unfortunately, did not get it, and took it as a peace offering. The goblins planned and plotted. I returned a week later.
The goblins planned to trick the local pie-maker out of her pies. They gave me a sack of coins and told me to make the pie-maker leave her stall. She adamantly refused, and so I was sent to gather a trinket from the Loping Plains. When presented with the trinket, she departed to give it to Fizzlethorpe. I took the pie and replaced it with coins.
The pie shop, I would like to note, was failing and the family starving. This deed saved both shop and proprietor. The goblins could not understand that the non-eatable coins were more valuable than the eatable gold coins. This is so far the only known incident where the goblins have managed to do something right while at the same time Not Getting It and Having No Clue What To Do.
We passed the Communal, no longer remembering what was in it, and all was good.
Renunciation
There has been only a single incident where someone wanted to recant their religion and follow a new path. This is not for the faint of heart, and requires enough reserves in the Gigglegibber storehouse to last a half-hour, maybe fifteen minutes tops. The Ultimate Prank must be pulled off at the same time as a heist and a stand-up routine. I warn you now, dear Prankster, that the following might result in death, or worse.
The Ultimate Prank involves faking one’s own death, having a funeral, and stealing a bottle of whiskey during your own wake. The goblins keep no schedules, and so trying to hold them to using their cave to be closer to their storehouse is nigh-impossible. Doing all of this and holding a stand-up comedy routine requires the Skill of Fizzlethorpe Himself. I would go into detail on how the one ex-pranker managed it all, but it has been considered Anathema to Speak Of It.
For safety, you should now burn this book. All copies and notes must, of course, be stored away from fire, unless you are in need of fuel for winter, in which case have at.
Folodu Amrunrosse
Monday, January 30, 2012
To Worship Bristlebane - An Authoritative Guide
This is a guide to services held in honor of the greatest God, he who is of the slightest of hand, drunkard among drunks, Bristlebane.
This guide is complete and unabridged, with slight modifications to help the uninitiated better understand our ways.
The author of this work, Folodu Amrunrosse, has gone to great lengths to ensure this is factual in all parts, except the time when the goblins actually did something right. All named for that incident have been changed because we were not actually there for it, and had to make something up. All mentions of people either living or dead are most likely true recountings, unless they aren't. Reader discretion is advised on page two.
In order to best serve our great God, we must first have several key components arraged. These include, but by are no means limited to: a bottle of Halasian Whiskey which shall from here on be called Communal; a firestarter, preferably in mage-form; a sacrificial goat; one frozen trout, thawed; one set dice, loaded; Hat of Officiation; Gavel of Forewarning.
In to begin, you must get your fellowship, assuming you have one, together, preferably with some prior notice. It must be noted that the group must decide on who will arrive last, and ensure that they have been given not only the wrong directions but also the wrong time. Giving the wrong day is just bad form.
When the last person arrives, they are required to pull a prank on the first arriving member - the group cannot assist pointing out who that is, lest the skill of the last be called into question. The prank must be pulled off during some point in the meeting.
The first order of business is to read the Minutes, but no one ever listens and the waterclock has been acting up lately anyways. Since Step One must always be missed, we must proceed on to Step Three, the sharing of the Communal Whiskey.
Once everyone has had a glass of whiskey, except for Farmer Bijot who has started drinking at dawn again, the group shares the recent pranks they have done. Sound effects and props are not necessary, but are appreciated.
The Fourth Order of Business is the passing of the Collection Plate. It is generally accepted that everyone will try the usual theft, but there are times when someone has an idea to share, such as stealing the theft from the neighbor preceeding them. It is considered bad manners to steal the collection plate itself. So far, Friggle Raxxiton has the record of stealing the collection-plate-bearer, who has not been seen since. When asked, Friggle only smiles like a fox. On incidents like this, the Communal Whiskey is passed around in congratulations.
The next order of business is Step Two: sharing the whiskey, which by now is fairly communal. From this point, the meetings tend to devolve into either hysterics or stories. It is considered ill mannered to not egg the other members on. At this point, weapons are confiscated and fighting is prohibited - not like anyone listens anyways. When everyone calms down, the Officiant releases the sacrificial goat, no one really recalling why it was brought in the first place. Plans are made for the Next Big Prank. These are usually forgotten in the after-meeting torpor and nap.
Since there has not been a Secretary or Writing Utensil brought since the disaster when the ink got spilled, everyone tries to commit the Minutes from the meeting to memory. Another round is shared communally and the meeting is adjourned, usually to be completed in the street when the Militia tends to arrest the members for being drunk in public - also, naked. In Lucan's fountain.
Folodu Amrunrosse
The Goblin incident Is Not To Be Mentioned.
That is all.
This guide is complete and unabridged, with slight modifications to help the uninitiated better understand our ways.
The author of this work, Folodu Amrunrosse, has gone to great lengths to ensure this is factual in all parts, except the time when the goblins actually did something right. All named for that incident have been changed because we were not actually there for it, and had to make something up. All mentions of people either living or dead are most likely true recountings, unless they aren't. Reader discretion is advised on page two.
In order to best serve our great God, we must first have several key components arraged. These include, but by are no means limited to: a bottle of Halasian Whiskey which shall from here on be called Communal; a firestarter, preferably in mage-form; a sacrificial goat; one frozen trout, thawed; one set dice, loaded; Hat of Officiation; Gavel of Forewarning.
In to begin, you must get your fellowship, assuming you have one, together, preferably with some prior notice. It must be noted that the group must decide on who will arrive last, and ensure that they have been given not only the wrong directions but also the wrong time. Giving the wrong day is just bad form.
When the last person arrives, they are required to pull a prank on the first arriving member - the group cannot assist pointing out who that is, lest the skill of the last be called into question. The prank must be pulled off during some point in the meeting.
The first order of business is to read the Minutes, but no one ever listens and the waterclock has been acting up lately anyways. Since Step One must always be missed, we must proceed on to Step Three, the sharing of the Communal Whiskey.
Once everyone has had a glass of whiskey, except for Farmer Bijot who has started drinking at dawn again, the group shares the recent pranks they have done. Sound effects and props are not necessary, but are appreciated.
The Fourth Order of Business is the passing of the Collection Plate. It is generally accepted that everyone will try the usual theft, but there are times when someone has an idea to share, such as stealing the theft from the neighbor preceeding them. It is considered bad manners to steal the collection plate itself. So far, Friggle Raxxiton has the record of stealing the collection-plate-bearer, who has not been seen since. When asked, Friggle only smiles like a fox. On incidents like this, the Communal Whiskey is passed around in congratulations.
The next order of business is Step Two: sharing the whiskey, which by now is fairly communal. From this point, the meetings tend to devolve into either hysterics or stories. It is considered ill mannered to not egg the other members on. At this point, weapons are confiscated and fighting is prohibited - not like anyone listens anyways. When everyone calms down, the Officiant releases the sacrificial goat, no one really recalling why it was brought in the first place. Plans are made for the Next Big Prank. These are usually forgotten in the after-meeting torpor and nap.
Since there has not been a Secretary or Writing Utensil brought since the disaster when the ink got spilled, everyone tries to commit the Minutes from the meeting to memory. Another round is shared communally and the meeting is adjourned, usually to be completed in the street when the Militia tends to arrest the members for being drunk in public - also, naked. In Lucan's fountain.
Folodu Amrunrosse
The Goblin incident Is Not To Be Mentioned.
That is all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)